When most people talk to me

Lately, when most people talk to me I seem to be a million miles away. I meant to make a more meaningful entry, but I got sidetracked so I couldn't because I forgot what it was originally going to be about Well, the title says it all. Blecch I have nothing to talk about! That's how boring my life is these days. And yet . . . The most exciting moment of my life--ever!--is inching closer! Wow, I can't believe it's only two days away. *sigh* If only I had a backstage pass, everything would be perfect. But, I'll live. Hmm. Ooooohhh yay! Tomorrow I get to see a girl I call "Squinty" because, well, my friend made it up. My friend broke up with his girlfriend. . . . Well, I kinda feel bad for him and all, but them, and another friend of mine were always hanging out together and it was getting annoying!! I miss my celll phonnnneeee!! I accidentally left it at my mom's house, but I should be getting it later today. Hmmm I fell asleep today for like seven minutes at lunch along the banks of the allegheny river or is it the Mon? Can never keep them straight and my friend woke me up from a really good dream!! Well, how come when I'm FINALLY happy for a few weeks, all of my friends have deemed it appriate to treat me like a leper? yeah at times especially last weekend it felt as if I had a emotional breakdown?! I must say, I'm not a very good advice giver in our group but I try. However, what does the advice giver do when they need advice for themselves? Because it doesn't work. . . My advice never works for me. . . Well, thank goodness I don't need advice right now. Sometimes I don't know when to shut up, or not write something on old blog sometimes I don't know when to talk. Sometimes I am a participant, sometimes I'm an observer. I sit in the middle of your conversation. I look attentive. Ha ha. I'm really not there. In body, yes, but but not in my mind. I look like I'm lapping up every word you say, but I'm actually too deep in thought to notice. My expression decieves you. I'm busy sorting out ideas, dreams, fantasies. What's fact, what's fiction. What I'm feeling, how I'm acting. They have nothing in common. Can you tell what I'm thinking of? My thoughts dwell on you, me and friends.

The perfect personal ad

I saw this on Brian's blog and just had to copy it!

Been busy

The new job keeps me busy and I spend most of my day working - I like what I do and I especially like the responsiblity I have at the new job. Today I did one transaction for 999,999.99 I asked my manager why did they not just go for that even number. She said that would have involved extra paper work for them as well as us! Oh well I love the new job and the people are for the most part awesome to work with, in the past I had a job I totally hated, treated me like a f'ing criminal and I found distractions at work. I would do just about anything but concentrate on talking on the phone to a customer that well just did not pay their bill in a timely manner.

The one manager left the company Tuesday so we had a little goodbye party for him, I hope they replace him with some as cool and easy going as he was. His name is Eric and the story from the grape vine is he left because his partner is sick and he wants to be home to take care of him but then I also heard another story it was his father that was sick and is near the end so he quit to take care of his dad and repair a relationship with a family member that was strained. I don't really know the whole story but I wished him well and told him for the short three months I been in his department it was a pleasure knowing him. Other then him I still have Tracy as a section manager and she is cool to, she seems very eager to ensure all her employees are happy and have what they need to do their job. I really can not complaine because for the first time in a long time I have a job that offers me a sense of self respect in what I do and with that I am developing a level of self confidence I have not felt in ages. Its everything else in my life that still sucks!!! But that will come in time just have to be patience and confident in myself and CHOOSE my friends carefully.

The 1st crack in my shell

I had a great weekend besides the night before on Saturday I was hanging with big bro again althrough Bill did invite me to meet up with him and his cronies at Saddle ridge but after last week I am sort of Saddles ridge out so me and bro went to the town tavern. New joint right down the street from my flat, anyway we get about 7ish and I paid since he paid for dinner! It was 10 dollars a piece and the reason it was so high was because they had a special that night 10 bucks a person and it is all you can drink until 9. Guess who got wasted? It was fun, I remember my brother and some buddy of his named Mike were talking about this group of girls sitting at the bar I confessed my interest in one. As the night went on they double dogged dared me to go over and talk to her so I waited and waited and waited her friend left for the restroom (I am guessing here not sure where she went) so when she was alone I made my move. I walked over sat down next to her and said hello, she replied and I asked if I could join her. I was sloshed but not totally wasted yet it seems as if my confidence comes with a few drinks in me but we got along and she did not run away ~ cool of her huh? We chatted for awhile then her friend returned and I called big bro and mike over to keep her friend busy as I was getting to know Mary. I don't know if that is her real name or not but mary asked for my number i gave it to her and well my thought on that is she was being nice. I have not gotten a call but it really does not matter that night was fun and I poked a whole out of my shell and it felt good ... the shy boy that was Scott seems to be going away!

Sunday was my mother's birthday so we all went over to her house to celebrate it. As for my day today, well today at work I got a RESET! UGHHHHH! A reset is ugly because I made a mistake on a loan that can not be simply fixed but the whole thing has to be RESET. Its a great deal of work but I am going to LOVE IT because it beats the heck out of working collections taking dead-beat calls!!!

A night of sleeze

Have you ever been in those conversations that start out with the question, “Do you remember when we…?” or, “You know that time…?” As a bank employee again, I have noticed that recent events have become even more sentimental and valuable to me. It is my hope that my past experience has been like that of other individuals. Experiences such as hanging out at a favorite bar, watching a scary movie on a rainy night, or loudly cheering in the crowds during one of the most riveting football games of the season are typical Pittsburgh experiences which I am very glad to have had.

One of my more memorable moments took place on a trip with some friends to a local state park but that is in the past. In the present a group of us decided to explore the entertainment options available to us in this exciting city. We were ready to paint the town after a full day of being confined in small cubicles. As a result, our - especially mine level of adventure was unusually high.

All of us are young adults and possess the level of curiosity that comes with that age. After some lighthearted discussion and thumbing through the yellow pages under the heading of “Entertainment”, it was decided that we should go to an establishment for just that very thing. In other words, out of all of the places one could select, we chose to go to a strip club. The idea of going for the first or second, maybe third time peaked my curiosity, and the prospect of shedding another level of innocence by visiting such an establishment, intrigued me as well.

In the moment of excitement, I thought to myself what if I met Ms. Right in there? I thought to myself that the concern was valid. I really did not know whether I would be able to enjoy the dancers and numerous other aspects of the club. But one thing rang clear in my mind. If I turned down this outing I would miss a most enjoyable time with coworkers and friends. So, now back to the evening! I told my friends I wouldn’t want to pass up the opportunity. After applying the finishing touches - checking my sources of funding for sufficient amounts, I realized I needed to break a twenty for ones – 20 one dollar bills. Pittsburgh’s entertainment spot was graced by five males and one female. Whom enjoyed herself more I think then us males! As we walked into the club, we were introduced to what appeared to be a very sexy young woman who ensured us that our night would be unforgettable. She led us to our table where we ordered a round of drinks to start the evening. Surprisingly I was taken aback briefly due to the professionalism of dancers.

One of the other dancers came to our table and described the style of dance currently being showcased on the stage. My little remaining sense of control was useless to me in the club, I pulled out a twenty and got a stimulating lap dance. That evening of devious adventure was more than just going to a strip club and taking in the various amenities it could offer or was it?

Its something I would say

PITTSBURGH Steelers linebacker Joey Porter says his recent comments about the team?s upcoming visit to the White House were misunderstood. Porter issued a statement today saying he was only joking when he said he had "something to say" to the President. The local newspaper said the Post-Gazette quoted him earlier this week as saying: "Yeah, I got something to say to Bush, I'm going to have a swagger when I walk in there too," Porter said, laughing loudly. "I'm looking forward to it. I have something to tell him, too. I don't like the way things are running right now. I feel like he has to give me some of my money back, so I got something to tell Bush." The statement Porter released today goes on to say his comments were taken out of context. The quotes that were attributed to him in the media in recent days were inaccurate. He then went on to say that he did not say he disapproved of President Bush or the job he has done leading our country."Porter says he regrets his quotes were taken out of context, and that he's excited about the opportunity to visit the White House and meet President Bush. The Steelers are scheduled meet the President June 2.

Pittsburgh's Finest

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility....

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room." The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.

Weekend thoughts

My weekend was not very unusual, on Friday night after work me and some co-workers went over to the Ugly Dog Saloon for a happy hour - of sorts. I only went because this one young lady was going and I hoped to use it to talk to her unfortuantely for me when I got there she was there - with her boyfriend. First time I did get a invite to the offical Bank happy hour it was fun but I did not stay long only about a hour or so then Saturday night my brother called me and asked if I wanted to go to Saddle Ridge. Ever since he broke up with his girlfriend he has been interested in hanging out at Saddle Ridge. Its okay and all but it is not my cup of tea as I do not really like country music - my brother is a great guy but he never really wanted to hangout until he broke up with his girl and when he finds another he will not want to hangout anymore so yes I like hanging with him but then again I don't. It is complex to explain... anyway we did end up going to saddle ridge saturday but he wanted to leave early so I had him drop me off on the corner of 13th and carson and I was going to walk back to my flat. However upon passing Dees I had to go in and have a beer ... the next day I did the Mother's Day Race For The Cure.
Not really a race we (we being myself, brother, mother, stepdad and step sisters) do it every year after my mother was dignostised with breast cancer some five years ago. Her cancer is in full remission and she is feeling much better then she did! Anyway that was for the most part my weekend in a nutshell kinda boring?

A tribute to Yvonne Craig

In the public psyche, a librarian is a woman of indeterminate age, who wears spectacles; a person with either a timorous disposition or an austere disposition, wearing a long sleeved blouse buttoned to the neck; someone who loves silence, likes books, and suffers people. Librarians don't laugh. They are covered with a thin film of dust. They have pale skins, which, when touched (as if one ever could) might flake and prove to be reptilian scales."Dispite it all there was one that worked hard to break that mold and that one was Yvonne Craig whose alias was Batgirl.

HATE

The last few weeks I have been filled with a great deal of hate – hate for one person but a certain amount of dislike for another. They are people whom I called friends because they called me a friend but in the end it was just talk. I hate the two faced son-of-bitches! I write how much I hate but then I remember something I picked up from somewhere, I think it was Star Wars episode one: he who gives in to hate and allows it to consume him gives in to the darker side of humanity. Forgiveness starts it, a non-judgmental attitude keeps it going. What is it? Freedom. Freedom from anger, hate, guilt and the past. Forgiveness opens the heart; and allows you to walk freely, securely into the next moment.

"I forgive you, for all the wrongs, I believe you have done to me."

That last line is something that until recently I found I could not say. But what is forgiveness? Is it for both parties? Can you forgive someone and they will hold on to their negative attitudes? I don’t know but I read the following passage from a religious pamphlet and my thought for this posting came from it. Forgiveness is for the forgiver and not the forgivee. Many times have I heard people say: "I will never forgive him/her for what they did to me." Holding back forgiveness is to hold the anger, hate and guilt of the past event. I can not afford the pain of withholding forgiveness. In the spirit world, strong emotions tie people together. For example strong love will keep two persons together and enjoying similar experiences forever. Strong hate will do the same thing. It will tie you to the hated person until the hate is resolved.

Forgiveness cleans the slate of negative emotions and allows a new start. If I can forgive them and they say: "I don't accept your forgiveness." Then know that, if I have been sincere, I have done all I can. In any regards I must Shake the dust off my feet and walk on.

Only God has no need to forgive, since He never condemns or judges. But God can help you to learn to forgive. Pray for the knowledge of how to forgive everyone and everything that bothers you, He will answer your prayer.

Its a small world after all

I was walking home the other day from work and I was passing by the Smiling Moose on East Carson and I heard my name called so I turned to look and it was my little cousin. At first I did not reconize him because the last time I saw him he was not much bigger then my waist but we spoke for a bit. His name is Josh P. and he further explained that he was down at the Moose because his band was giving a show that evening. Now most of the time I advoid that joint unless I am with specific group members but that evening I decide to venture inside on my own - well with cousin Josh. Josh's band has its own web site hosted by myspace so if you like punk rock music or just want to hear a talented member of my family click here. His music is good, similar to El Nino but I feel it is well worth the visit!

A new blog worthy to note

If you have not noticed yet there is a new blog worthy to note on mine and that is De Reno' s blog. I used to work with De Reno at FedEx - he had enough sense to get out of FedEx sooner then I did but anyway if you are in the market for any type of written document be it a resume, letter, or report shoot him a email besides a gifted BS-er he is also a talented writer as a quick visit to his blog will tell.

The Lockerroom + Dees + the moose + Caseys = awesome

Friday night was Cinco de Mayo and I went out with big bro again, he did not want to go to Saddle Ridge and personaly I was glad of it as i don't really like that club so we ended up at The Locker room. It was cool - my brother truly taught me a few things of course for one when they offer a special of .05 per bottle of millerlite take advantage of it and buy rounds for a table full of beautiful women! He did exactly that and made a few new friends in the process not to mention a phone number!!! Saturday night was different I met up with Bill, Dave - who by chance looks a lot like the hulk except he is not green. Bill told me they call him Dave the hater at work - its all in fun. Besides Dave there was also Stu - no name from last week and a new no -name this week as I can not remember his name! Anyway it was all fun we met up at Dees to shoot pool have a few and just generally bullshit until Dave was asked to leave the bar for nothing more then leaning against the pool table - of course I was sitting on it anyway he made a joke about it and we all laughed! After which the bald prick got pissed and stormed back in and asked Dave to leave. So we all said heck with it and went next door to finish the game at The Smiling Moose but that lasted only long enough for us to get there and have a round before we changed our minds and headed over to Caseys pub. That was a jumping joint that evening but the midget was not working that evening so we ended up just bullshitting some more before calling it a evening. The next day I had laundry to do - yuke then I went to have dinner at my family's house and that in a nut shell was my weekend! It was nice hanging out with a group again and it made me realize what a fool I have been - I called people friends that were in fact never friends.

¿Sabías Que

¿Sabías Que... Did you know that the Battle of Puebla, Cinco de Mayo, took place 41 years AFTER Mexico's independence war was won in 1821? Does anyone care? Is Cinco de Mayo on its way to becoming another Americanized holiday like Saint Patrick's Day? A day to spend drinking and getting sloshed? Do we as Americans have a problem with drinking? Why is there 23 bars in a nine block area in Pittsburgh's southside? Why am I living in the middle of barland? Why am I asking question after question? Will I ever stop? Somebody answer me?! Just joking ... here is a puzzle to make it more interesting try completing after you had three or four coronas.

Fill in the blanks

1. Ummmm that was _________!

2. I need a good _______!

3. My _______ are ______ then _______!

Time flys by

The time seems to fly at my new place of employment in fact I have a greater sense of pride in what I do for a living and that has a effect on how I feel about me. I have talked about it previously on my other blog but for the first time in awhile I feel good. I will continue to have regrets but things have changed for me and things will continue to change at least for now I am happier working for the bank.

I got to get Chad and Heather a wedding present, I was thinking I should give them a check for 100 dollars what does anyone think about that? Am I being to cheap? I am both invited to the wedding and also to Chad's pre-wedding fling...

Summer is here... winter is gone ... so sad

Summer is here... winter is gone ... so sad! I am so sad to see the end of winter because that means it is the end of seeing healthy young women in hooker boots. By the way did we ever decide if these are called hooker boots, or f&*^-me boots? I remember posting something about it many months and a blog ago but can not remeber the outcome of that post so if you remember the outcome help me out. Also if you are a healthy your woman and have a photo of yourself wearing something like this you can feel free to email me it at sdpst2@yahoo.com, clothes are optional.

Steelers, Dees Cafe, Smiling Moose and Willie

The Pittsburgh Steelers No. 1 draft pick was Santonio Holmes and he was officially introduced at a news conference this morning. Holmes was formally introduced at the UPMC Sports Complex in the historical South Side. Also the hood I call home! He was a wide receiver from Ohio State University, Holmes is the seventh wide receiver chosen in the first round of the draft in Steelers history, and the first since 2000. Holmes will be a good replacement for Antwaan Randle El who signed with the Washington Redskins - the traitor! Besides following along with the draft picks I also went out to Saddle ridge with brother again, seems he likes that but for me I do not really care for country music. Afterwards we met up with Derek his old friend from high school - whom is now a doctor! We had happy hour and it was fun and all but I really did not feel much like going out that evening then on Saturday I went out again with big brother but he was tied and we stayed only a hour at Saddle ridge before he wanted to call it a night so he dropped me off on East Carson and I preceeded to Dees Cafe with the intention of having one beer but upon arriving there I ran into William, David, and ... I can not remember his name so I shall call him no name. Anyway we had a round or two, shot pool then played ping pong then went over to the Smiling Moose for last call before I went home. It was fun and all - Bill had given me a printout of his first and last entry of his blog showing a comment that was left on it from the jerk - I am at a lost for words so bye.