My personal thoughts

Once upon a time on a blog far far away the issue of the "personal" nature of blogging on my "other" blog was raised.

That's one thing that's bothered me about my attempts to define a blog aesthetic. I've at least toyed with idea that blogs are "personal," and I do agree. Some are, and some aren't. The dictionary defines personal as "private." I would define it as "of an intimate nature." Whether a blog contains personal details seems irrelevant to me as to whether it works.

Many interesting ones DO have an informal tone -- but that's not the same thing. I like blogging because I feel less constrained to filter and manipulate the voice of my inner self -- so what I write is often closer to the voice in my head than most other written work, which is edited for tone and audience. That is some of the most "personal" writing I do, or at least I did until it was said of me that I want pity. But I don't write about personal things much anymore with exceptions.

So while I admire my colleagues like Kaz and Sara and even It's me who are so free with the details of their lives on their blogs, it ain't me - not anymore. In fact, if I did try to give more personal facts, my writing would sound more constrained because I would feel uncomfortable always with the fear that I am being or will be judged to critically.

It all comes back to authenticity. If the authorial voice rings true, because it seems to genuinely reflect the writer, then the blog is more appealing.

To borrow from a Supreme Court justice discussing porn: "I don't know how to define it, but I know it when I see it." We may have trouble consciously differentiating the true from the trumped-up, but we can sniff it out in an instant.

Maybe lack of authenticity has a place -- after all, many people, not just horny men, like me. But do you really believe you're getting the "REAL" woman? No, you just don't care. But if I started again being overly personal, it probably wouldn't work as well, because I am a person, not a persona.

How do you feel?

I get asked this question quite often. My response is very generic, very factory generated: "It's going good. Busy, busy, busy." I sound so happy and enthusiastic when I say this. The truth is, I am already bored.

I've been doing this bank thing since last March, and, at first, I thought it was great. Nice big checks for all the work I do; I see my boss about once per month; I get to be in front of people (which I love). Now, however, I am beginning to see the downside of this particular job; it's very repetitive. Entry-level coding!

I spend two or three hours in my office getting my accounts ready. I order loan files. I put them together. I make copies of all the necessary loan documents for the audit department. I box everything up, using an ample amount of paper clips and paper binders. Sometimes, I have office time in which I have no loans to code Then, I get to work on the projects assigned to me, missing my deadlines by days because of the lack of office time for when I am swamped. I turn in my time sheet every other week for the paycheck. I do it all over again.

Also, I've discovered that, beyond getting a pay raise, there is opportunity for advancement in this job. Oh yes, there is I have seen my coworkers move up for better jobs within the bank and also with other banks! I am in college to be a High School Teacher. Partly because I want to teach and partly because I want to have a job that gives me a sense of fulfillment. it is very hard to find a job in this particular area in Pennsylvania (lots of competition), so if I want to teach and make a decent living the question becomes - relocating. I tried that once _ Miami! Could I if the opportunity presents itself again relocate?

So, I began thinking, what would I do, if I could start it all over? That is, if I had the time, and resources to start college all over again (from the Bachelor's level), what would I do? I then realized that I am most likely not the only person who has had this thought. Some people even go back, get a second Bachelor's, and make a huge career change.

So, I am asking you, the blog reader (yes, both of you), what would you do, if you could start it all over? If you really like what you do now, give me a "dream job." If you have your dream job, then, just go ahead and brag about it. Today's comments section is an open "Career Regrets and Highlights Forum." Have at it.

P.S. If I could start it all over again, I would be a teacher right and would of been for the past few years. That, or a Mime.

How to Get Drunk Properly

This is for those people who don't know how to get drunk, or those that got really messed up when they did.

Steps
Make sure you know how to get home by heart. This is very important, because if you get plastered to the point of losing your memory, your self-preservation will kick in and will drive you to try to get home. If you don't know how to get home, don't bother drinking.

Get chasers. Before you drink, have at least one soda. Not only will it make drinking hard liquors easier, it'll also get you drunk faster, and with less hangover - because consuming non-alcoholic liquids before you drink helps stave the aftereffects of alcohol off.

Use the Buddy System: Make sure you know at least two people wherever you are when drinking. This is vital, so that you don't get robbed, raped, or worse. Always make sure one of those two friends is watching your drink if you leave it, and you return the favor and watch for them if they should need to leave their drink for any reason.

Remember the Golden Rule of Drinking: Beer Before Liquor: Never Been Sicker! Liquor Before Beer: Never Fear! Don't start with beer, wine or champagne. Take a shot of liquor. You need hard liquor, like gin, whiskey, vodka, rum, or cognac. You may switch to beer later if you want, but if you plan to drink hard liquor, always drink it first, and NEVER mix - don't drink a Mai Tai after a Margarita. If you want different drinks, choose those made with the same liquor: Martinis go fine with Screwdrivers. Tequila Sunrise is fine after a Margarita. Mojito is okay after Cuba Libre, and so forth.

Take a gulp of chaser. This can be anything from water to soda. As mentioned above, that's to ease down the liquor, and help avoid the hangover.
Know your limit! For some, it's 3 shots, for some it's 4 shots, for some, more. Repeat steps 4 and 5 the number of times needed to reach your limit - and chase each time with your chosen chaser.

Wait for 10 minutes. This is the best time period (for an average metabolism) to take in the initial effects of the alcohol (develop a buzz).
Check out how you feel. If you are light-headed, warm, everything is bright, and funny - you're already getting drunk. Proceed to step #9. If you don't feel anything proceed to step #10. If your stomach is clenched, and you feel like throwing up, stop, or go on to Step 12 and drink some chaser. The goal is to get to step #11 without getting drunk.

Repeat steps 4 and 5. When you feel drunk, you need to ease off on the drinking. Duh. Wait at least one hour before taking one more drink.
If you still feel drunk, but not to the point of being close to throwing up, take another shot. And so on, and so forth. You don't want to hurl all over your friends, that's not fun for you or for them. You just want to maintain your buzz.
Repeat steps 4 and 5. If you drank, and don't feel anything, you've got an iron liver. Drink one more, and then go back to step 8. If you feel drunk, go to step 9. If you're still not drunk, go back to step 10, but don't drink more than 5 shots at a time - EVER. You can get alcohol poisoning and die. It's not called "intoxication" for nothing - it's derived from the Latin word "toxic", which means POISON. And next time, consider changing your choice of alcohol. If you didn't get drunk on tequila, or it took way too many drinks, choose scotch next time, or vodka. See what works best for you.

Okay, you're very well plastered. Drink a bunch of chaser to avert the hangover, and wait for the alcohol to be fully absorbed into the bloodstream. Being on the verge of throwing up means that you've taken in enough to be potentially dangerous, so don't drink anymore. And frankly, if you feel like you need to throw up, go and do so, the sooner the better. It's best to get it out of your system before any more alcohol can be absorbed. Do this, preferably in a restroom, and not in the street, on your or your date's shoes.

Tips
NOT RECOMMENDED, But watch your friends if you see them doing it. Some hardcore drinkers mix beer and vodka. That's a Russian beverage called a Yorsch. Those things are dangerous, as they have led to comas. It really is not recommended, even for the experienced drinker.

This is a rough guideline for the first time you're drinking, or the first couple. Afterwards, you will get to know your own tolerance, and will be able to design a system of your own. The above system represents what the average body with an average metabolism can handle.

Talk to your friends and find out "how you did." Were you fun? Were you mean? Some people become nasty *ssh*les when they drink. If that's you, I recommend a different recreational habit, unless you don't care about having friends. If you did get mean, or morose, try changing alcohol. Tequila makes me a little sick. Rum or vodka don't seem to bother me that way. Get it?

If you do get a hangover, you can take pain relievers - most effective are aspirin, Tylenol, Advil or Aleve. You can also alleviate the symptoms by taking a multi-vitamin containing B-complex vitamins. It doesn't help much, but it does help a little. Drink lots of water. Your mouth is dry and sticky because alcohol has a dehydrating effect. See the warnings of what you CAN'T take.

Warnings
Don't try to keep up with others. Know your own limits.
Don't drink and drive. Seriously. If you're drunk, your hand-to-eye coordination sucks, and you can do some damage. Like kill other people. Or yourself. For the sake of others, don't.
If you're some sort of bigot, try not to talk too much. The author has seen a racist get the shit beat out of him by a group of black people because he got drunk, and started badmouthing them. If you're opinionated, and drunk, try to keep your mouth shut. If you feel very strongly- then don't drink, or have friends to restrain you.
DO NOT take sleeping pills, or any prescription or non-prescription drugs with alcohol. The risk that you won't wake up is very, very real.

Things You'll Need
Alcohol
Chasers
Friends you trust
Transportation (public, or get someone to drive you)

The Kill Point

The first television series to be filmed and also set in Pittsburgh took over a part of downtown this week creating some unrest with local business owners. The show is titled “The Kill Point” and it is scheduled to air later this summer on Spike TV as I explained earlier. Among the the crew, series stars there is John Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg - and hundreds of extras were filming all week long in Market Square. The shoot even shut down Forbes Avenue between Wood Street and Stanwix Street in order to film certain scenes.

And for businesses in Market Square “The Kill Point” is creating some real drama their sales figures. Lot's of of these business owners are saying things like, “It’s been terrible. Sales are down,” says Regina Casey, the manager of Jenny Lee Bakery. “The customers are upset – they can’t pick-up their orders.”

You know what the officials with the Pittsburgh Film Office say they doing their best to work out the kinks in their production and also to work with local businesses but what I have to say is SUCK IT UP! We have a chance to shine in a movie that could bring others to film in our city and with other films will come other stars willing to spend their $$$ in the city.

On to other matters, “The Kill Point” centers around an Iraq War veteran who robs a bank and causes a hostage situation. I will try to get a picture of the bank they are using... it's not a real bank but a creation called three rivers trust.

Friday

It's Friday... feeling better today then I did yesterday morning. The progress on the movie set looks like it reaching it's epic center point... market square now has Pittsburgh Swat vehicles packed in it and in addition big black SUV the kind you might see FBI agents driving. To be a extra in that movie that would be great! I am going to have to watch The Kill Pitt when it airs on Spike TV in July.

On other fronts not much more going on so that all for now... or in the words of Porky Pig, "l-l-let's all folks".

Tailgating + Pirate baseball + early morning raise = headache

So after work I went to the ball game to watch the Pirates lose out to Florida at the top of the 8th inning but before going to the game I met up with a bunch of people and had a tailgating party. It was fun, of c ourse half through the music stopped cause the SUV suppling the music died so since I was parked closest it was all up to me to save the party. I had to provide the jump start! Little humor, yesterday was the first time I had to drive to work! Now I need gas but considering the last time I had to get gas was over a month and half ago... it balanced out. Yes last night was fun I just wish I could do it again Friday.

The Kill Pitt - part two

Well, on the way home from work yesterday I was walking through market square and I saw a bank heist. The robbers rushed from a SUV with AK-47's and attempted to robb a Three River Trust bank... there was three police officers that attempted to stop them and two of the three were shot. One of the bank-robbers was also shot! Well not exactly it was a scence from mini series The Kill Pitt. As I was walking home they were setting up to shoot the movie scence so i stopped and watched it. It was like 45 minutes later they wrapped up and we got to meet some of the actors it was my brush with Hollywood. After leaving market square i simply walked home without stopping at a local bar - amazing huh?!

The Kill Pitt

The Kill Pitt, it's a made for TV mini series being filmed in downtown Pittsburgh! It will broadcast on Spike TV sometime in July - I think. Yes, Hollywood has come to the Burgh. It was sort of exciting cause on the way home yesterday I walked through Market Square and I am assuming that square is going to be the focus in the film. I did not meet any be name movie star, it would be nice especially Angelina Jolie. You know I think she is ready to stettle down with a good solid conservative banker. What do you think? I could be her personal banker.

Poor writing

I don’t claim to be an excellent writer and I rarely write anything that demands to be edited to a fine luster. That said, I do think I have a good critical eye for theoretical argument and in a email that i recived on Friday morning this fragment jumped out at me:

“…the involvement of thought with plans is manifestly obvious.”

It’s not important what the context of the frament is, whether or not you know what the author is talking about, or whether it’s true. I have a problem with the word “involvement” and with the phrase “manifestly obvious”.

First of all, when you say “a is involved with b” you are saying almost nothing at all, especially when you are talking about a biological system like the brain. Practically everything in the brain is involved with everything else, it’s just a stupidly weak statement.

Second, “manifestly obvious” is manifestly redunant. Manifest means obvious, but carries some semantic baggage. It implies something seen, something real. It calls to mind sailors logs. Either he means manifest, or he means obvious.

And any use of the word “obvious” in corporate writing is likely dubious anyway. If something is in fact obvious, it needn’t be said. If it needs to be said, it’s likely not obvious. And if you are feeling the urge to label something obvious, it’s likely you are just lamely trying to get away without substantiating something which should be substantiated. It’s a red flag, and you ought to be damn sure you have a reason for raising it.

So that’s my bitching for the moment. Of course, if you poke through my ideas I’m sure you’ll find many examples of equally poor usage on my own for example the last three posts are full of errors. That is what i get for not first writing my comment in mircosoft word before posting it.

Friday thoughts

I mananged to get the work done so my books are cleared, I also have been biking to work every this week except Wednesday and that was only because I had to visit my advisor after work. On Thursday I recived a living it award at the bank, basically ai got a small bonus for a job well done. There are times that I wish That I could stop everything and take a moment and examine issues in life then after I have examined those issues then have a opportunity to re-do it but this time do it in a way that gets a better result. I was spending sometime before work thinking about things... sorry did not mean to bore you.

The President of the USA is in town today, he will be speaking at Saint Vincent College in Labrobe, PA. Is it just me or does anyone else agree that this President is perhaps the worse President this nation has had since Herbert Hoover? With popularity now at 31 and dropping it appears this President has spent his "political capital" he boasted about having after the 2004 election. Isn't in a democracy the government - i.e. the President that sets policy be concerned with what the citizens of that democracy wants? If the majority wants change, wants improvements with the nation does not the President owe it to the citizens and provide it? And not ignore the people's wants and needs? Great nations do not fall from threats from external sources - great nations fall when the representatives stop lestening to the citizens and treat their jobs as a source of revenue and the people stop caring about what it means to be citizens of said democracy.

It's been ages

Yeah, it's been ages... I have been very pre-occipied with other matters mostly related to my on going quest for education but also the bank has been keeping me busy to. I heard from my friends, KC and Anthony. KC is doing very well in Atlanta, has a steady girlfriend from what it sounds that is going well but much more important he just purchased himself a three bedroom house in suburban Atlanta! Alright KC you are a home owner just stay away from those variable rate mortgages. My other buddy Anthony, a.k.a. Spider he is doing well to - my one friend Jason sent me a email saying Anthony was in town last week to see his family and to break the news - he got married. I could not believe it myself but yes it is true accroding to Jason he is married, she is a nice girl has 3 kids - none of them his. I wish him luck, according to Jason he quit his job at the casino and is moving to Stettle, Washington because that is where she is from he is also trying to get back in at FedEx as either a station manager or driver but from what Jason was telling me Anthony's name at FedEx is mud for all the stuff he pulled over the time we were there. Do not know if it is true, I don't think a employer can say anything but then again Jason is probably right Pam (our ex-manager) would do something like that. Anyway I only briefly heard form him just to confirm if all was true and yes it was so I wish him best and some smal way I am envious cause it sounds like he met the perfect woman for him. I wish I could do that myself but I lack one thing that women look for first - self confidence. Oh well back to grind, I got not just one but five reset to fix!

Monday

Friday was interesting, went to happy hour with some ex-coworkers from my FedEx days. They decided to venture down to Station Square for that joyous celebration of week's end. Good old Chris was there, a.k.a. The Goose, Jason, and good old Dave or better known as the Cobra... It was fun times indeed. I am just glad I did not have to drive home! Saturday was not as exciting except I did a great deal of biking both Saturday and Sunday. I mostly stayed to the side street in my hood and also the bike trail - I finally found made it down to Homestead via the trail.

I think I lost weight, not sure because I do not own one of those weighing machines, yeah you know what I mean? I have a love/hate relatiosnship with them. I love them when they give me positive information and hate them when they don't. Anyway regarding the weight all my pants are loose and now I can wear my dockers that have not fit in ages so I am stoked about being able to wear my old dress clothes as my new clothes. However the down side is working in the bank's operational center they have a relaxed dress code policy and my jeans are loose and baggy so much so that when I tighten my belt it bunches up around the sides. I guess all that walking is paying off! Oh and the fact I am the only one that commutes to work via bike - it's awesome.

bike, bui, dark mood, general laziness

Last tuesday I had a rather low point in my life this year it was not as intense as previous dark moods I have had but it was none the less a mood. So what did I do about it? Next day I ended up visiting a bar, would of had a BUI (Blogging Under the Influence) However I canceled the internet service a few weeks back. As for now for the most part I am feeling lazy with the exception of biking and banking I have no real interest in anything anymore. I enjoy weekend rides on the riverview trail, I like commuting by bike in the morning but that's about it. I have no goal to look forwards to and that is what is bugging me. I need that goal, the destination on my journey of life... plus I am questioning what I want as a final career. Banking, teaching?! I am glad the term is over and the summer vacation has began perhaps after the summer I shall feel different.

Ummmm work related stuff

Me thinks there will be over time soon at the bank cause the bank is purchasing yet another bank this time a chicago bank. Yes, over time... more of the $$$ green stuff but less of the %$# stuff. In the 14 months since I rejoined the banking industry my current employer has acquired four other banks... enough to establish - in the words of my sr. manager a significant footprint in Florida and now a dominating force in the Chicago market. I am hoping the next bank we take over will be this one. Why? Well let's just say it will be poetic justice for me! HA HA HA HA in the most evil laugh I have!