I want to live a life free of regrets

There is no room in my life for regret anymore. ... I want to live a life free of aching regrets. I don't mind regretting the roads I didn't take in the past but I don’t won’t to add to that list of regrets.

I have been walking around every day with a life totally full of regrets. I did a google search for other people’s blogs and I read many stories about regrets, for example there is a 78-year old man thinks about the girl that got away 45 years ago. The gay man wishes that he'd come out to his father while reading the eulogy for his wake. The waitress in a bar across the street from the Met spends every day remembering the day that she quit singing opera.

Every day, I have fetter away life with regret. When I think of the waste of precious moments, tossing them out like candy bar wrappers, while obsessing about mistakes I have made in my life long past.

I can not spend my life like this anymore.

I refuse to spend the majority of days ruminating about things that I have already done nor do I want to obess any more about mistakes that are in my past (and, God knows, they're there).

I can't regret anymore I can afford too! There is no denying the truth that I often do the wrong thing. I have made my share of mistakes. But I can't regret them. I have done what I have done, and my actions, my decisions (the good, the bad, and the ugly) have made me who I am. For better or for worse. No use in saying that if I could change this, that or the other thing I would. Even if I could I probably wouldn't change anything. There is no room in my life for regret anymore.

What brought this on you ask? Good question, I went to the information session today after work and heard what the recruiter had to say and I liked it. I want to take the next step, I want to move forwards but after I left I heard that familiar voice inside me telling me “you can not do that” You won’t make it, you can not leave all you have earned in life. I was setting myself to fail long before I even officially applied. I do that often in life, I did that when I had the opportunity in Florida and even as I write this post I have that inner voice telling me that I am a fool for even considering it. How did I push myself out of the funk I seem to have been pushing myself into? Simple, I told myself that yes I have acquired a few items worthy of note but it’s stuff I can store – it’s stuff that I can replace if need be. My family will always be my family regardless what I chose, my friends to. All that I have will still be mine I am just daring to dream of taking that less then often traveled road. You know that road? As the poem goes, “ I took the Road Less Traveled by," And that has made all the Difference. One thing that I have learned sometimes Choosing the hard and unpopular way can have a more rewarding outcome. Someone once told me, not sure whom. It may have been a teacher life isn’t about the destination it's about the journey to get there?

Roads seem to be fascinating me, whether as metaphors for life, change, journeys, partings, adventure, etc., or simply as roads, with all their implications of 'here' and 'not here', I guess what I mean to say is that the two may not be as separate as one thought.