Have you ever had a moment?

That one little moment that makes us stop? You look out the window and see the clear blue sky as the hazy white clouds lazily blow by and you know, you know the eternal.
That inside you which reaches for beauty, love and simplicity of understanding.

That quiet place we forget to listen for.
I have felt and heard this more than once in my life. I have sat and cried as I remember those moments, of those past regrets.

I look out the window now at the city skyline with many tall buildings beautiful and majestic, seemingly reaching for the light blue sky. Such a thing of beauty yet this is not what really catches my eye today.

Today it is an uncomplicated man made street sign on this simple city road. Since I started the new job last year this sign had been laying on the ground in pieces but today it is standing with clear bright colors on it. One sign facing north and south and one facing east and west. Simple right? Nothing magical yet I felt it. This common sign made me want to cry. In the past couple of weeks my life has taken a turn for the worse, I fell back into a period a deep depression. I allowed regrets and everydays stress to overwhelm me.

The sign brought up those questions for me. Where do we go in life? North or south? The Allegheny river as it flows past my building knows where it is heading as it travels downstream flowing on into another river and then onto the homeland where it all started, the ocean. I sit here now slowly flowing in thought yet going no place physically. I long for that silly road sign suddenly. How great to be on my path and suddenly there it is the green sign pointing you in the direction you have been seeking for so long and knowing it will be glorious.

The funny thing is I feel maybe, just maybe it really is this simple yet I have made it hard for myself. I have let anger and fear into my heart and I fight them like a disease, to busy to be quiet and listen.

I have seen people fight over faith and love. There have been wars over it and so many have died for it yet what has this accomplished? Thousands of years go by and the wars still rage and this fear and anger accomplishes nothing but destruction and pain. Not just on the bodies and souls of the people but the very planet that graciously gives us life. Fear is the cause of so much suffering. The fear of taking the wrong turn or missing the sign all together. Fear of that question. “Am I believing right? and if I am why does my neighbor not believe this way?” “Why can’t they see this sign?” Or better yet why can’t I see the sign that can help guide me on my own journey? Perhaps I do see the sign but my own fears keep me from following? Questions come, about the way I am traveling and those feelings of judgment come about the road that I am taking. Suddenly listening has been silenced and the noise brings with it fear and uncertainty. This is what causes the most fear within me the fear of uncertainty can and has paralyzed me in the past.
The thoughts start out benign enough but soon they grow into worry, fear that if I don’t obey what I have been told I will go to hell or whichever venue you have been told is the worst. These are the fears that make people question their own destiny or may I say destination. I know it does for me!

I come back now to that simple road sign. This sign I am looking at may assist you, if lets say you were looking for me. For me however, I will turn left on destiny and precede straight on to get to future. Easy enough just like the river gently flowing to the sea.

The only thing is, there is another road leading someone to my door. In fact there are at least three I know of. One is an old road with many pot holes and bumps. I usually choose this road to drive home on. Not many street signs just dust and rocks, yet I feel safer here for reasons I don’t really understand but that’s, well, I guess, faith or perhaps a lack of signs to guide me and therefore less things to question?

I guess what I am getting at is it does not matter which road I may find myself on. I don’t need to find my sign. I need to take the time to listen internally and follow my own faith. Knowing my path is no better or worse than anyone else’s path. It is simply mine for better or for worse. I must remember that we are all looking for the same things, Compassion, love, reason and destination.

So now after my rambling I am still sitting in my office wondering why this sign made me want to cry. I realize there is beauty in all things. The beauty I found today was for over a year I had never seen that sign standing yet I always made it home.