It's been awhile

Don't know where to begin so let's take it back to last Friday or more correctly two friday's ago... got done with the bank and was heading home... realized I did not have to work the 2nd job that fine evening so i would stay in. It was after nine as I was stettled in for the evening when my phone alerted me that I had a text message at first I thought it was either my brother sending me another pic or cousin Rachel with her usual "hey cuz". It was neither! It was infact someone that I have not talked to in sometime and I was surprised - it was a pleasent surprise. The text message read "going to moose and so should you" I looked at it, must of read it a dozen times at first I thought it was someone that I do not much careful but then I realized whom it was. I am not going to be more specific then this, it was a nice surprise.

I have been working two jobs the one, the bank is great! The other is retail and I am only doing it so I can have money for Christmas without using the credit card. If I play my cards right and budget I will be credit card debt free by spring time then they all get canceled except one that will be my emerency card. I know this does not sounds very Christmas spirit but Christmas. I love it and hate it. It's OK to admit it? I love the lights, the sounds and the smells. The anticipation. But no one speaks of the darker side. Who would dare? Fights at the checkout counter, anyone who worked black friday in retail will know what I mean. Demolition derby in the parking lots. Forget about finding "just the right gift". As the clock races down and time gets short it's enough to find any gift. It all begins so early now! Thanksgiving used to be the start of the season, now it's two weeks before Halloween! Who has time anymore to step back and ENJOY the Christmas season? It's become a job, a chore, a contest to see who can do it best! It's no coincidence that the suicide rate is highest this time of year. The pressure has become enormous! But it's OK. It's OK to dread the shopping, the parties, entertaining the relatives. It's OK to say, "I won't play this game anymore!" We sing of Silent Night, but make such a racket! We wish "good will towards men", then party too long, drink too much and play craps with the lives of others on the road home.

Somehow things have gone very, very wrong with the way we approach Christmas.

I know it.

We all know it.

Now what do you want to do about it?