one (zipper), two (hair), three (music)

First, for the first hour and a half of my day, my fly was open. This time included leaving my apartment, walking acorss town, walking around my department, and talking to two of my co-workers while standing in the doorways of the manager's office. Nice. For being totally fucking awesome, I rewarded myself with a bacon, egg and cheese bagel. It was terrific.

Second, speaking of being totally fucking awesome, you have no idea how good it feels to come b ack from lunch at 1:30 with a nice buzz, feeling happy, only to check your email to read 60 emails from co-workers saying, "Dude, you really neeed to color you hair it's to bleach blonde." Yeah okay so I had a issue when coloring my hair last night but hey at lunch I was mistaken for a chubby Emeinim. That’s totally fucking awesome.

Perhaps I should have mentioned that my main priorities while in Point Park this weekend were not focused on my hair. In fact, if I had to put them in order of importance, my priorities would have gone:

1) Getting messed up.
2) Eating pretty much everything put in front of me, live or dead.
3) Not masturbating.
4) Seriously, getting really messed up.
5) Wearing a hoodie that says "Maine" even though I’m not in Maine.
6) Sorting all kinds of shit out.
…
…
11) Inhaling a lot of second-hand cigarette smoke at Dees Cafe.
…
…
23) Telling everyone about how Wendy’s now has a vanilla frosty and saying "It blew my fucking mind" over and over again.
…
…
58) Not answering any calls or emails at work.
…
…
83) Raving about the Wendy’s grilled chicken sandwich I ate on the walk home, mentioning the vanilla frosty again. Adding, "Doesn’t that blow your fucking mind?"
…
…
597) Making sure my hair looks good for the pictures that my friends are taking while intoxicated only to email me at work telling me how bleached it is.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that though my hair may appear a little bit bleached almost white, I have lovely hair. Well, maybe not lovely, but I’m not going bald. Sure, I do have power alleys, but my hair is fine. Ok? Let’s just move on before I get too wound up.

(Also, do you know how windy it is corssing the Clemente bridge in Pittsburgh? The answer: Lots. Lots windy. Not good for hair.) Okay my day is going well...