The Fear Of Failing

I have a deep fear of failing. Saturday I was getting information together about the praxis, I need to pass the praxis before Sept 2007 so that I can do my student teaching. My fear is that I will fail the math portion of the exam. Its been on my mind all weekend the fear of what I would do if I was unable to pass the praxis. This evening I was looking at other peoples' blog and I came across Olivier Blanchard's BrandBuilder blog entitled 'Fear is Irrelevant'. He talks about fear and failure as crucial 'points on a learning curve'. Here's a taster:

Don't settle for being the best. Instead, work your ass off to be the first. This isn't about beating the other guys. You can't. You won't. Those kinds of victories are short-lived and meaningless. Be unique. Become an icon. Become a legend.
But expect to fall on your face a lot. It's the price you pay for getting there, and getting there first. By first, I don't mean necessarily first to market. I mean first to success.

Did it help calmn my fear? A little but the praxis is important and I have to prepare for it so tomorrow I purchase a praxis study guide. Since establishing My Thoughts well over a year ago, I have experienced many 'failure points' during the steepest learning curve of my life. A few months ago I deleted my original blog and started fresh – something that I do regret. I have made some progression in my life, compared to where I was last year it is a improvement. Currently I am working for a bank, but my dream job is teaching. I want to be a teacher, I want to have not just a job but a career that gives me a sense that what I do for a living makes a difference. Do you know what I mean? I have to work hard, apply myself over the next 12 months if I am successful by the end of the school year 2007 I will be a certified public school teacher. My fear is failing the praxis exam! What’s the praxis? They are state exams, the praxis is to a teacher what the bar exam is to a lawyer, or the state board is to a doctor. I know I will pass the English and reading section but the math part of the praxis is what I am concerned about. It’s that old time feeling of failing. Anyway going back to Oivier's post, I can still say there is no-one offering the service of getting over the fear of failure.