My Thoughts

A New Year

2011-01-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

Making New Year resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance.
For all the wrong doings that I have done throughout the year, forgive me. Some might say, Blame the devil. He made me do them. Honest... And the good deeds that I have done were all from this humble self. No bluffing... For this New Year my wish is the same like any other new year. I wish for life fulfillment, lots of happiness, abundance of wealth and of course the best of health.

I am no Nostradamus. I can't predict what will happen in the future. But it's going to be a new chapter of my life, a new journey to be taken. Turbulence or not, I'll stay on course.... God willing I shall stay on course and where will that journey end? I don't know. A journey's End is the state of mind wherein I realize that nothing about me has changed at all, its more of a personal perspective. And yet, from this or any new point of view, my world and my own self appear in unfamiliar territory.

It is like taking a side step and, gaining an angle on the scenery, and discovering there is another side to it all that is quite different from the face of reality in which I had come to know every line and wrinkle.

This additional information does not invalidate my own past understandings, but adds to them. Every event in my life is still as it was, but now there is extra meaning. The gears that have propelled me on earlier quests are suddenly seen as wheels within wheels, and every object that seemed so palpable becomes three dimensional as it extends from being a flat prop to gain the attribute of depth.

At Journey's End I feel that I will see that everything is as it should be and all components are in their proper places. And so, a new kind of endeavor emerges. It is not yet another expedition into uncharted lands, but a revisiting of every path I have taken previously. Each key event, insight, or trauma that I had earlier experienced, considered, and resolved is now known to be only partially grasped. In all honestly I cannot fully comprehend my own nature without re-examining it in this new light.

Journey's End is not a destination at which I arrive, it is process of looking back at the journey through the eyes of wisdom to seek enlightenment. First there is a mountain, than there is no mountain, then there is. At times I can't step into the same river twice. To become enlightened is not to come full circle, but full spiral.

This, then, is a story of my reflections on a journey already taken, and the insights I may discover along the road to "knowhere". Happy New Year to all that reads and understands my ramblings.

Twiddle dum and Twiddle dee

2010-01-18T15:47:00.001-08:00

Twiddle dum and Twiddle dee--"spending on things that matter" Each election cycle, hope springs eternal. Candidates promise change and voters buy it. Intelligent ones. People who know better or should. The current campaign highlights it. A surge is building for Obama, not for what he is. For what people think or hope he is - a populist, progressive, man of the people, a new course for America.

Do you remember that phrase after the last election? "Now maybe we can spend money on things that matter," by rejoicing, teary Obama supporters. What a laugh. The welfare state grows no matter who is in office, sometimes more under Republicans, but definitely under the less-than-conservative two Bush presidencies. Once a human services program is in place, who controls the White House or Congress makes little difference in its growth.

"The most significant growth in Human Resources spending is attributable to Medicare and "Health Care Services," an OMB category dominated by Medicaid. Still using constant dollars, these two categories combined to account for 8% of Human Resources outlays under Kennedy and Johnson, 15% under Nixon and Ford, 17% under Carter, 21% under Reagan, 26% under George H.W. Bush, 31% under Clinton, and 34% under George W. Bush. Measure all the Human Services outlays from 1962 (the first year of more detailed OMB historical tables) through 2007 in constant dollars, and it turns out that Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security accounted for just under two-thirds of the total."

More interesting facts about the persistence of poverty and the corresponding growth of the welfare state at "Reforming Big Government."

The point I am trying to make is regardless which party is in the white house the outcome is always more of the same.

I hope Limbaugh gets his wish...

2010-01-13T17:51:00.000-08:00

“Are conservative talk-show hosts eager to go on the attack, after years of defending Bush?” asks the Louisville Courier-Journal’s Larry Muhammad. The answer is clearly yes.

Barack Obama had not yet taken office, and Rush Limbaugh is already rooting for his failure. On his radio show, Limbaugh said, “I disagree fervently with the people on our [Republican] side of the aisle who have caved and who say, ‘Well, I hope he succeeds.’”
Limbaugh told his listeners that he was asked by “a major American print publication” to offer a 400-word statement explaining his “hope for the Obama presidency.” He responded:
So I’m thinking of replying to the guy, “Okay, I’ll send you a response, but I don’t need 400 words, I need four: I hope he fails.” (interruption) What are you laughing at? See, here’s the point. Everybody thinks it’s outrageous to say. Look, even my staff, “Oh, you can’t do that.” Why not? Why is it any different, what’s new, what is unfair about my saying I hope liberalism fails? Liberalism is our problem. Liberalism is what’s gotten us dangerously close to the precipice here. Why do I want more of it? I don’t care what the Drive-By story is. I would be honored if the Drive-By Media headlined me all day long: “Limbaugh: I Hope Obama Fails.” Somebody’s gotta say it.

It hasn’t taken long for Limbaugh to reveal his core hypocrisy. In July 2006, with conservatives in power, Limbaugh offered one of his common screeds against the left. “I’m getting so sick and tired of people rooting for the defeat of the good guys,” he complained.
During the Clinton presidency in the 90s, Limbaugh would begin his show with a gimmick, purporting to count the days America had been “held hostage.” In May 2007, Limbaugh recalled:
Back when Clinton was inaugurated in 1993 and we began our America Held Hostage countdown, the number of days left until Clinton was gone so we’d all be released from bondage, the joke, do you remember how mad the liberals got at that? Do you remember how mad the Drive-Bys got at that? Then they started running stories how I, Rush Limbaugh, was destroying the respect for the office of the presidency that the American people had.

A disastrous Bush presidency has come and gone, but some things haven’t changed a bit. Except People bringing guns to town hall meetings and presidential events has received a fair amount of attention, but I think it deserves quite a bit more. Although the people carrying weapons to political events probably seem like little more than fringe elements of an already a lunatic fringe, they may be better described as an early warning of far deeper and systemic problems in America. If we don't sit up and take notice now, we may be forced to do so when an armed liberal meets an armed conservative but then when bullets fly it will be to late.

America has benefited from a relative lack of purely domestic violence over the past decades; we may not have been violence-free, but it's also not been a daily concern for most people. Carrying weapons to political events threatens to turn all that around because weapons are inherently violent — even when they remain unused in a holster, they communicate an unmistakable message of potential violence. Indeed, that's clearly part of the point of carrying them: to communicate a message of violence for the purpose of intimidation. So who are the real Americans?

So I say again, I Hope Limbaugh gets his wish because the majority of Americans want change and change will come to this nation.

Tax credits?

2009-11-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

For those that feel that tax cuts and tax credits are the only options to job growth. Here is a story for you to think about. Dish Network, a fortune 500 company is eliminating 600 local jobs in Pennsylvania’s technological center. When the bottom fell out of the Steel industry in McKeesport for cheap labor market of China the state gave Dish network a ten year deal of tax free status for locating a call center in the state. For ten years this company paid no taxes in PA even through cable premium rates increased year after year, that ten year tax free deal runs out Dec 15th 2009. The only taxes paid to the state and the city of McKeesport was paid by the employees whom got paid the sum of $9.00 a hour. Oh but some Dish Network call center jobs headed to New Jersey or at least that was as of Monday, November 16, 2009 but more then likely the jobs are India bound.

The company sent a letter to the state and to McKeesport Mayor James Brewster Nov. 9 to comply with the Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification Act.

In a letter addressed to employees, the satellite television company said it planned to move those 37 positions to another call center location in Pine Brook, N.J. The letter said the company was analyzing the best ways to run a more efficient operation.

"Through this analysis, it has been determined that based on growth considerations in the McKeesport Dispatch location, we can relocate dispatch job responsibilities to obtain the optimum effectiveness," the letter said.

The company encouraged employees to apply for other jobs with Dish, but did not guarantee them a position within the company. Golden parachutes are for CEO and others who made the bad decisions that lost the company money. The company's announcement last week that it would shutter its call center in McKeesport means the city, already saddled with a 10.3 percent employment rate, will lose one of its top five employers. The company occupies a space in the Industrial Center of McKeesport and employs more than three-quarters of the people that work there. So my advice to the people of McKeesport is this: way your options and be prepared to move if it means a improved quality of life. And don’t rule out a move to international locations because economic growth and higher standards of living can be found outside of the USA

Something to think about

2009-11-23T17:58:00.000-08:00

This is in no way my vote of support for Rush Limbaugh, or as I like to call him Boss Hogg. I find Rush, an useless, hater monger but In the early this year, I was listening to the Rush Limbaugh radio show when a young man from Youngstown, Ohio, called in to complain about... well, life.
The caller was upset that, since the company had closed years earlier, there was no opportunity for him in his beloved hometown. Youngstown. It was also the town that his father and grandfather had raised families (back in the heyday of the steel Mills) and where he had hoped to raise his own. So he was attracted to the protectionist rhetoric of presidential candidates promising to erect trade barriers in the hopes of resurrecting U.S. cities. But, short of attending a political rally, the young man from Youngstown didn't know what to do.
Noting that our most daunting obstacles are often self-imposed, Limbaugh gave the caller some simple advice: "Move!"
Brilliant. But moving isn't always easy. At various moments, some of us have felt inextricably bound to our hometowns by a loyalty that defies logic. That can be charming. Yet, especially in a sour economy, it can also be self-defeating.
Now I read about a new trend: More and more Americans are responding to the wobbly U.S. economy by fleeing the country. It seems that when the U.S. job market gets tough, the desperate get going -- to wherever the jobs happen to be.
According to a recent article in USA Today, with the nation's unemployment rate at a 26-year-high of 10.2 percent, many Americans are looking for jobs outside the country. In fact, U.S.-based staffing companies and executive search firms say that the job outlook abroad looks brighter than it does here.
The most welcoming job markets: India, China, Dubai, Brazil, and Singapore. The jobs that are most often taking people abroad: engineering, management or consulting. As the article points out, a survey by Korn/Ferry found that 54 percent of executives said they'd be either likely or highly likely to accept a post in a foreign country. Four years ago, in better times, it was just 37 percent. At MIT's Sloan School of Management, 24 percent of 2009 graduates found jobs overseas, a jump from 19 percent last year.
Sure, leaving the United States is an extreme measure. I'd be happy if most Americans were more willing to just leave their comfort zone. If you're unemployed, the secret to survival is to know where to go -- and where to steer clear of.
According to one set of job growth projections, in 2010 the three most promising states will be Idaho, Colorado and Texas -- with Wyoming, Washington, and New Mexico not far behind. The three least promising will be Nevada, Florida, and West Virginia -- with California, Illinois, and New York not much better off.
For me, this subject hits close to home. No pun intended. You see, I was once just like the guy from Youngstown. I was in love with a hometown and a nation.
The lesson I learned along the way: Jobs don't just come to you. More often, you have to go to the job. Too many Americans resist that truth and instead wait for their dream jobs to come knocking at their door. They treat the idea of living in a certain city or state as an entitlement that they're not willing to surrender.
A few months ago, I found myself having lunch next to a middle-aged man who told me that, when he was starting his business, he had moved all around the country until he arrived at what he considered the destination city of La Jolla, California -- north of San Diego.
He was frustrated because his son, who had grown up in that ritzy ZIP code, was now in his early 20s and considered it his birthright to keep living there. Shaking his head, the man said: "He doesn't understand that I had to work my whole life to get here, and that he has to move to a more affordable city and work his way back."
Multiply that story by 10 million, and you get a sense for what we're up against. Here again, the native-born could learn from immigrants, foreign students, and anyone else who has the moxie to leave behind family, friends, and the familiar in search of a better life. Those people may struggle, but they'll survive and get ahead. It has always been this way. And in a global economy, this is how it will remain for as far as the eye can see.
The sooner Americans accept that, the better off they'll be. The better off we'll all be.

Is Life Always Going To Be A Challenge?

2009-11-19T17:45:00.000-08:00

I hate to burst your bubble, but yes, life is always going to be a challenge. But there’s good news: some days will be better than others!

There are times I would ask myself, why does life have to be so tough? People are imperfect (there are those that feel with sin) and basically selfish and proud, and seek to serve themselves rather than God.

I had this misguided idea that once I acknowledged Christ as the leader of my life (also referred to as “Becoming a Christian” or “Being saved”) my life in the land of milk and honey would be trouble free. Well, I was wrong. Being a Christian isn’t a guarantee of a trouble free and perfect life.
But it is life full of promises, one of the greatest being that I will never be alone. God promised both in the Old Testament (Joshua 1:5) and the New Testament (Hebrews 13:5) that He would never leave us or forsake us.

As a matter of fact, God also directly addresses this issue of a challenging life. In Matthew 6:34 Jesus states, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” There you have it, even Jesus Christ acknowledged that each day will have enough trouble of its own, acknowledging there is trouble and that is simply a fact of life.

This got easier for me to accept when I really started believing God was available to me 24/7, that He wouldn’t leave me or forsake me. And that my communication with Him wasn’t just one way, (either the perception that He was telling me what to do, or that I could go to Him with nothing but favors) but I could go to Him in dynamic communication which includes questions, misgivings, rantings and ravings in addition to praise and thanks.
So, yes, life in this imperfect world with imperfect people will always be a challenge, but as long as I remember I don’t have to mutter and complain to myself but I can talk directly to God those challenges are a little bit easier to swallow.

Life becomes much more live able with good friends.

The journey begins...

2009-11-18T16:53:00.000-08:00

The world is like a book, and those who do not travel read only one page When I first thought about having a blog, in which to post my own feelings,so that people all over the world see what I go through, I had this statement in my mind, because I trully believe it is making much more sense than all the other personal sharing quotes I've been reading on so many other blogs.

The world is like a book... Where the "books" are the people, all the people that cross the street together with us, or that are going to the same school, workplace, shops we do, but in the end, not the cover matters the most, but the content, the story inside that can captivate you or can leave you as empty as before reading it. Day by day we are living in a huge library, in which books are surrounding us, present there to be "read" so that one can have a first glance of an experience even before going through it in reality. And those who do not travel read only one page! By choosing to "travel" you choose to "read" more "books", to listen and capture more stories, experiences, knowledge from the people around you. If you choose not to do it, not to travel from human being to human being, and searching for the beauty that lies in the content, I congratulate you for being another cover reader (and just say hello to the other eighty percent of the human population that strives to travel in life from tourist site to tourist site.. and not to understand the history, the past, the mistery lying behind an experience. I have been to many nations, England, Ireland, Costa Rica, Nicargua and soon I hope to add Lithuania, as well as the other Baltic Republics.

Play the game of life according to Scott

2009-11-17T17:47:00.000-08:00

An friend of mine, her name was Tracy once wrote on her blog that she learned from a old college professor, “you play the game of life to win and at any costs.” At the time I was always impressed by that, then I thought about it for a moment and I realized that is indeed a shallow thing to believe. If you play the game of life to win, and win at any cost you will always be looking for opportunities to take advantage. You look for what you need in people, use them then cast them away, I was wrong to admire such a shameful statement. Life is indeed a game, an game that needs players. Imagine you're the quarterback of your favorite NFL team. On every offensive play, you take the snap from the center and drop to one knee.

Playing it safe would certainly prevent turnovers, but your team wouldn't gain a yard. The grueling hours spent training, studying game film, and practicing plays would be wasted.

In football--and in real life--players need to take risks.

"Open up the offense--mix in some long pass patterns, running plays, and screen passes," and On occasion, throw deep.

In "Difference Makers," Glading--founder and executive director of The Saints Prison Ministry, the largest athletic prison ministry in the U.S.--mixes sports-related anecdotes, personal reflection, and encouraging quotations from great men of God to inspire Christ-followers to take risks for God.

He says, "Every Christian must ask the fundamental question: Do I want to live a life that matters, or would I rather coast through my 70 or 80 years on this planet, making as few waves as possible?"

Glading's book equips Christians to become active in personal evangelism as well as in critical social issues. "God doesn't care about your ability; He cares about your availability," Glading says.

Glading practices what he preaches; in 2008, he ran for the U.S. House of Representatives from New Jersey. He won the primary and finished second among six challengers in the general election.

Anyone willing to veer from the path of least resistance--to take chances--will discover that the rewards outweigh the risks, but the trick is taking the risk and doing so without using others for your own personal gain.

An Scary story

2009-10-08T17:35:00.001-07:00

There is a story told in Pittsburgh a couple returning home from a trip to New England. They were driving home in a car, and were somewhere near One Mellon Center when the light failed and they knew they would have to seek shelter for the night.

The husband spied a light through the smog and turned their car into a small lane leading down a hill. A pleasant little hotel stood to their left called William Penn so they stopped, and an old man and his wife met the couple at the door. They were in nightclothes and were obviously about to turn in, but they welcomed the travelers and offered them a room. The old woman bustled about making tea and offering freshly-baked cakes. Then the travelers were shown to their room. The husband wanted to pay the old couple for their lodgings, but the old lady shook her head and the old man refused any payment for such a small service to their fellow Pittsburghers. (obvious the hotel keepers were not Republicans)

The travelers awoke early and tiptoed out of the hotel, leaving a shiny fifty-cent coin in the center of the kitchen table where the old couple could not miss it. The husband started up the car and they went a few miles before they broke their fast at a little restaurant in Southside.

The husband mention the nice old couple to the owner of the restaurant and the man turned pale.

"Where did you say that hotel was?" he asked. The husband described the location in detail.

"You must be mistaken," said the restaurant owner. "That hotel was foreclosed three years ago by a bank after the owners invested their fortune with the Madoff Investment firm and that drove the Brown family to suicide."

"I don't believe it," the husband said flatly. "Mr. and Mrs. Brown were alive and well last night."

After debating for a few more minutes, the couple and the restaurant owner drove the car back out of town towards the old William Penn. They turned into the lane, which was overgrown with weeds, and climbed down the hill. There they found a burned out shell of a hotel that had obviously not sheltered anyone for a long time.
"I must have missed the track," said the husband. And then his wife gave a terrified scream and fainted into his arms. As he caught her, the husband looked into the ruin and saw a burnt table and there was a note and on that note was written “I owe you one shiny fifty-cent piece. “ And it was signed B. Madoff.

The World comes calling

2009-09-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

The limos will roll past Flagstaff Hill tonight as the leaders of nations representing 85 percent of the world's wealth officially open the Pittsburgh Summit, the long-awaited gathering of the G-20.

Tomorrow, the conversations shift to the David L. Lawrence Convention Center, amid the tightest security Pittsburgh has ever experienced.

The high-profile meetings are the culmination of negotiations across the globe that have taken place to shape its agenda and those of related forums on trade, climate change and the rules of the road for finance in a post-crisis world.

"We all know that when the circus comes to town, that is only the visible part of an ongoing process," Anthony Swallwood, first counselor of the European Union's Washington delegation, said during a pre-summit stop in Pittsburgh last week. Just as those meeting paved the way for the Pittsburgh session, the talks tonight and tomorrow will serve as a prelude -- whether catalyst or impediment remains to be seen -- to pending international talks on issues including trade and climate change.

As has become traditional in such gatherings, the world leaders were greeted with demonstrations ranging from the whimsical to the confrontational.

Protests began at mid-morning with a daring stunt by a team from Greenpeace, the environmental organization known for sometimes confrontational tactics.

Two squads of Greenpeace activists attempted to simultaneously rappel down the sides of the Fort Pitt and West End bridges. Police managed to nab the five activists on the Fort Pitt Bridge, but eight protesters managed to unfurl an 80-by-30-foot banner proclaiming "Danger: Environmental Destruction Ahead," while dangling above the Ohio River for several hours.

As police waited them out, the group hovered over the waters as city River Rescue and Coast Guard vessels circled below.

By early afternoon, the team members, described as expert climbers by Greenpeace spokesmen, climbed back up and were all arrested, along with a ninth member who remained on the bridge to assure police that the activists were peaceful, were experienced climbers and were equipped to pull themselves back up on the bridge at the end of the protest.

"They went up on their own. It's safer that way," said Damon Moglen, global warming director for Greenpeace. All 14 demonstrators were taken to the Allegheny County Jail.

But Greenpeace was stymied in later attempts throughout the day to unfurl other banners from atop city structures. A plan to drop a banner at The Warhol Museum ended when a crew arrived to find National Guard troops inspecting the site and a phalanx of state police in a nearby side street.

A similar attempt to put a banner across the Rachel Carson Bridge also ended without success.

A bicycle ride by Critical Mass, a group that occasionally takes over Downtown streets on weekend rides, brought a disappointing turnout, with city bicycle police outnumbering the protesters.

Stronger stuff is anticipated today when a yet-to-be-determined number of protesters gather at Arsenal Park in Lawrenceville for an unpermitted march Downtown toward the David L. Lawrence Convention Center as the G-20 convenes.

Representatives from a variety of protest groups gathered last night at the headquarters of the Pittsburgh G-20 Resistance Project, an umbrella group of anarchist organizations that has provided a gathering point.

The council, which was closed to the media, was expected to be the site at which various groups indicate which of a myriad of corporations and other sites they expect to hit in what the groups call "direct action."

Such actions could range from a protest to a sit in to attempts to close the location, as well as to block city streets.

City police have remained relatively uncommunicative, but yesterday they acknowledged that they have kept several locations under surveillance. Both local and federal law enforcement sources said police have believed that for several months as many as three warehouses in the city might be used by protesters to store equipment that could be used to close down streets. Deputy Police Chief Paul Donaldson confirmed that several groups and locations are currently under surveillance.

Heavy security
The security presence, in addition to the 900 officers of the Pittsburgh Police force, includes federal agencies ranging from the Secret Service to the Coast Guard, along with 1,200 state troopers. Anticipating the protests, the Pittsburgh Police also enlisted the assistance of officers from scores of other departments across the country. All in all, it represented an unprecedented police presence for Pittsburgh.

Mayor Luke Ravenstahl yesterday swore in around 1,000 visiting law enforcement agents for service in the city during the G-20 Summit, in a ceremony at Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Hall & Museum.

A more positive welcome mat, months in the unrolling, came from local governments and civic groups, which joined in a multi-million-dollar logistical and PR campaign to prepare the city for its turn on the international stage. The PR jury won't return a final verdict until after the world leaders scatter tomorrow. But the civic sales job has already produced a list of Pittsburgh-focused stories in national and international publications.

Most reflect at least in some measure the narrative jointly promoted by the Obama administration and local boosters -- that Pittsburgh is an example of a resilient, environmentally conscious city successfully transforming itself from an industrial to a knowledge-based economy.

In addition to those asserting their messages in the streets, the summit has prompted any number of seminars, panels and speeches from outside groups advocating an array of policy agendas.

Awesome game

2009-06-12T20:57:00.001-07:00

The Penguins rang in a new era tonight, winning the Stanley Cup for the first time since 1992 and the third time in franchise history.

A year after the Red Wings won the Cup at Mellon Arena, the Penguins knocked off defending champion Detroit, 2-1, in a winner-take-all Game 7 of the final at Joe Louis Arena.

Goals by Max Talbot staked the Penguins to a 2-0 lead after two periods and they held on to win the 2009 NHL championship.

The Penguins played most of the second half of the game without star center Sidney Crosby, who got an apparent knee injury. He returned for the third period but played very sparingly.

Crosby left the ice at around 5:35 of the second period. He and Detroit's Johan Franzen were chasing the puck along the boards. Crosby ended up riding Franzen's back briefly, and his knee got pinned along the boards as Franzen checked him.

He slowly made his way to the Penguins bench favoring his left leg and went to the locker room.

The Penguins outshot the Red Wings, 10-6, and did not score on the only power play in the first period.

Talbot got the game's first goal at 1:13 of the second period. Evgeni Malkin forced a turnover by Detroit defenseman Brad Stuart in the right corner and got the puck out to Talbot, who scored from the lower right circle.

Talbot finished off a two-on-one break with Tyler Kennedy against Red Wings defenseman Niklas Kronwall by lifting the puck past goaltender Chris Osgood's glove to make it 2-0 at 10:07 of the second period.

Kronwall spoiled the shutout bid by Penguins goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury at 13:53 of the third period. He took a cross-ice feed from defense partner Nicklas Lidstrom and put the puck off Fleury's arm from the right point to make it 2-1.

It's Complicated: My personal journey

2009-05-30T20:20:00.000-07:00

…to blogging. What did you think I meant? I was re-thinking this blog business thing over the past few months. It’s a lot to keep up with! I feel that I have to update it at least everyday, I admit I have not done so for sometime. When I don’t, I wonder about it. What if someone really important is looking for my stuff? What if the person who visits me everyday stops when that one day they notice I haven’t updated since yesterday! I started 2 other blogs before this one. This is the one I finally decided felt right and wanted people to see it.

I remember the days when blogging was for geeks, but now, it is major industry and people are making REAL money blogging. When CNN and The NY Times have blogs, it’s business. This blogger lady got into the NY Times this Sunday by just blogging about the American queen, Oprah. Bloggers are getting book deals and authors are becoming bloggers. Authors, like me, blog to connect to our readers and build new ones. It helps to create a more intimate following. Yes, Twitter, too.

I’m gonna try to make this blog, I am going to try to advoid getting personal but at times i feel the need to express myself. But that’s always hard for me, or at least now it is! I may also put some excerpt of my new novel whenever that is ready.

I only wish it was that simple. So, anyway, keep coming back. If I don’t update here and there just know you are in my thoughts Make sure you email me, too.

The end is near?

2009-04-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

A lesson

2009-02-24T05:30:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking, a great deal about what is important in life. I travel life’s rough roads, some are dark and some are long. At times I often find I have to be strong, or my journey often finds the wrong road. No matter how rough and rocky the road. I was thinking today about how difficult for some people to take ownership in life. Many people walk through life by observing others and commenting on what could have been done better. They make what they feel are astute observations and judgements, but they never initiate change. I see some people every day who have a sour expression on their face no matter the situation. I want to tell these people that they have the OPTION to CHOOSE to live with a different attitude. I have been taught that “it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it.” I sometimes struggle with this in my personal relationship because sometimes it’s hard to change my attitude. There are many days when I get it right, and many more that I get it wrong. Anyone that has read my previous blog can testify to that! But, i’ve learned from my mistakes. I believe in this journey of life that we all will encounter many “angels”. People who come into our life either for a brief time or for a longer stay to make a difference, to teach us a lesson, to love us and show us that life is not meant to be walked alone, those I hold dearest to my heart are my most precious gifts from God.

I wise friend once said to me, “Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, It is because we are different that each of us is special." At this time I do not set goals by what other people deem important. Only I know what is best for me. I am am not afraid to encounter risks because after all isn't that what makes life interesting. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave. Do not shut out of your life by saying it is impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love; The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly. In addition, I do want to quicken my pace in life but I do not want to run through life so fast that I forget not only where I have been, but also where I am going. After all Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way...

My weekend

2009-02-23T05:37:00.001-08:00

So...I was able to finish up and leave work on time for once on Friday in time to meet up with the old bank crew, and head down to the Grey Goose for Friday happyhour. Wow. Things were moving fast! Out of 10 pitchers, begun at five o’clock, there were only 2 still on, so my buddy Nick had to order three more – his treat with three orders of wings ...and all within five minutes of my arrival, it was sort of a belated birthday treat. About two weeks ago was my birthday. So my ex-coworkers, went out after work. The person I really wanted to meet up with was kathy .

We went to Brew Works, where I got an Ed Bear Stout (nice, drinkable, burnt grain bitter) and Cathy got a glass of wine. I finally got the Seed Flatbread, and it was as good as everyone's said, which I can't believe I'm saying. Get one. I had it with a glass of Schlenkerla Helles, (I might of spelled that wrong) and it was the first time I had real german beer and you know what? It was perfect.After we were done, we walked down to the old haunt, The Ugly Dog saloon for a beer, kind of for old time's sake -- we spent a...different kind of evening there and even through it was not my real birthday it was still great. The prices were okay, the selection was okay -- just okay -- and while some of the people in the restaurant were very nice, there were some annoyingly impatient regulars who just didn't want anyone to get between them and their Friday night routine because they had to have it right now! I was also kind of jarred by the big "Buy Local" sign and all the non local products produce. Nice idea overall, but I'll pass.Saturday, I went home and hit the Giant Eagle Farmer's Market, looking for an idea for a snacktime/dinner. I wound up with some great double-smoked bacon and hydroponic tomatoes and made BLTs (which rocked) on Le Bus bread.

Sunday? I woke up feeling crappy, didn't sing, and spent the afternoon cleaning the house and playing with the neighbor’s cat. Had some more Nugget Nectar with dinner -- "beefy soba noodles," which looked like something a Klingon would eat, but tasted pretty good -- and then read some until I passed out.

It could happen?

2009-02-20T06:30:00.000-08:00

I am going to play Nostradamus here, the chance of another revolution has never been more real then now. I have done a great deal of reading both in terms of history but also other bloggers and I feel that the 2nd American Revolution will not be about the preservation of East Coast liberalism, as some self-serving right wing extreme scholars would have it. (Namely Glenn Beck) America was never less racist and homophobic than in the years immediately preceding the Clinton era. The debate, again, as it does now revolves around institutions. Should changing mores be enshrined in legislation and case law? Should the national ethos itself be rewritten? Should the very definition and quiddity of being an American (white, male, straight) be revisited? There is alot of Neo-Marxist bloggers (chroniclers to most) that attribute the case for the need of an Second American Revolution to the growing disparities of wealth between the haves and the haves not. Presidents Bush and Cheney surely reversed L.B. Johnson's Great Society. They and their party loyalists have erased or in the process of erasing the numerous entitlements and aid programs that many of the economically disenfranchised came to depend upon and to regard as a birth right and as a cornerstone of the social contract. Turning the clock back on affirmative action and food stamps, for instance, indeed provoked widespread anger. But such outbursts can hardly be construed to have been the precursors of the gigantic flame that could come about and consume the USA in the not too distant future.

Finally, the 2nd American revolution will not be about free trade (beneficial to the service and manufacturing based economies of some states) versus protectionism (helpful to the agricultural belts and bowls of the hinterland and to the recovering Gulf Coast). America's economy was far too dependent on the outside world to reverse course. Its national debt was being financed by Asians, its products were being sold all over, its commodities and foods were coming from Africa and Latin America. The USA was in hock to a globalized and merciless economy. Protectionism was campaign posturing - not a cogent and coherent trade policy. So, the real roots and causes of the Second American revolution?

None of the above in isolation - and all of the above in confluence. For decades, the citizenry's trust in a packed and rigged Supreme Court declined. Politicians (Democrats and Republicans) came to be regarded as a detached and heartless plutocracy. Americans feel orphaned, cheated, and robbed. The national consensus - the implicit agreement that together is better than alone - has thus evaporated. The outcome will be shots and explosions that will rock the United States (and the world in tow).

A circle has closed..wonder what's next?

2009-02-19T06:17:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about this next post since almost 2 months ago, when on the 18th of December I changed jobs..."A circle has closed.."

In July I received early in the morning a message from one of my close friends saying that I was accepted for a position with ... It was an impossible dream, since I was a young I had tried to get in with this company but never had. They had some high requirements (I still believe that the 3 persons I've talked with since those bygone days at FedEx helped me a lot in gaining the motivation to go after this job.. thank you Goose, Slink, Cobra... and the others I don't remember now).

The first thing that came into my mind was am i getting in over my head... and then realized that I can afford driving to town! At times I still miss certain close friends from Halsey Ave, Tracy, Bill, and Charity. I relaized it was the sense of being accepted that I did not want to lose and that was what I held to for so long. So long now that when I look back I am embarrarred. That is another story for different time. From July 2008 to December 2008 It was incredible for me, since this new job was happening in the same time with exciting and at times frustrating presidential election. To cut the long story short, my organizing department experience was shorter than expected due to a situation in which I decided to get involved in (the story is really long and not worth being written here, maybe I'll tell it over a beer). Even if I cried 2 days afterwards, I learned some really important lessons that are still helping me in guiding my life and found a new mentor... the person that was going to be next to me in some key moments in the next 10 months.

As I look back on the last three years of my life, I had the time of my life...and understood what is really important for me. I had the chance to work for the company I tried so long to join and at one time i gave up on but now I am working for an international company, one that I find interesting to say the least. I guess what I am rambling on here is at a time when I needed to be helped by close friends... I was disappointment but I survived and prospered, I made some great new friends and the road of life I now find myself on is promising to give me a international experience I dreamed of since I finished high school.

Travel for a Great Cause - Friends of Orphans: Nicaragua

2009-02-18T05:44:00.000-08:00

Often people take trips to see new worlds, seek adventure, search for relief from stress, or just to get away. To do this, they often visit countries that are poor, devasted, or suffering. Yet where they "vacation", they avoid that situation either on purpose or most likely without any knowledge at all that those situations even exist.Well to remedy that, I the travel beggar, will do my best to promote travels that provide an alternative adventure - the chance to do something good adventure. Now these "adventures", while supporting a good cause, often don't lack fun, new experiences, or times to relax.

For my first vacation in over two years I plan my first "Travel for a Great Cause", I was strongly recommended to look into the Friends of the Orphans: Nicaragua trip. They are embarking to Nicaragua: April 18 - 23, 2009. It should be interesting because Nicaragua is an exciting place with interesting politics, friendly & outgoing people, and an interesting terrain with mountains, volcanoes, Lake Nicaragua & open fields I can not go.

My trip in April will include:
• Tour Casa Asis on the shore of Lake Nicaragua & Casa Santiago on Ometepe Island.
• See the property on the mainland where construction has begun on the new permanent home.
• Spend time with the children & meet NPH staff & volunteers.
• Sightsee & shop in Rivas, one of the most popular beach towns of Nicaragua.
• Relax & enjoy the accommodations at a lovely hotel.

Going for the six pack

2009-02-02T04:37:00.001-08:00

Yep, they did it! Got one for the six pack, not sure if I like that term but who cares now for the hometown team pulled out another win!!! It was indeed a fantastic game, to bad i missed the excitement on East Carson street this time around but then again there is always next year.

Today is the day!

2009-02-01T15:40:00.001-08:00

Today is the day. Two teams meet on one field ... the biggest game on the biggest stage. Our coverage of today's Super Bowl XLIII at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa starts with a the leaders of those teams.
Any football fan knows quarterbacks often dwarf a game. In fact, QBs have been MVP of the Super Bowl 22 times -- more than any other position. Today's Super Bowl has two of the game's giants at the position in Ben Roethlisberger and Kurt Warner. One of them will become the 10th quarterback to win two Super Bowls.

The number problem with America is...

2008-12-11T06:40:00.000-08:00

America has been hit by a massive tsunami that threatens to cripple our nation and our democracy. This nation is in a state of shock, fear and disbelief as it watches the financial meltdown rapidly taking place. This society, our government and our financial institutions are literally drowning in debt. Many people ask: "how could this possibly be happening to the greatest, most powerful nation in the world?" And the answer is simply this. Rampant greed has evolved to such an extent that it is overwhelming our national sense of honesty and ethics. So the tsunami that is washing over America is one that is of our own making.

Just today we have seen a temporary stoppage of the financial bleeding, but don't be so naïve to think that the market has now bottomed out and that the good old days will soon return. Of course, the gain of more than 900 points in the DOW is very welcome to many, but it has been accomplished by the infusion of hundreds of billions of dollars from the U.S. government and now from the nations of Europe – with promises of additional infusion in the very near future. However, this is a temporary, very expensive fix that many millions around the world will pay for in one way or another. There are huge problems with market fundamentals, lack of oversight, appropriate regulation and other means to curb the rampant greed and manipulations that got us into this mess to begin with. So we need to stay focused and demand that our leaders follow through on the proper safeguards and policing of financial institutions.

In the great movie, Wall St., Gordon Gekko, the ruthless corporate raider played by Michael Douglas, speaks to a stockholder group and tells them "Greed is good. Greed is right. Greed Works." He was stating a reality that the real Wall St. has long known, one that is embedded in its financial soul. But Wall St. is not the only guilty party in the crisis that now threatens our nation. Our elected Congress, the totally incompetent Bush administration and the Wall St. robber barons have now collectively brought America to its knees. And, yes, we Americans most definitely must share the guilt.

The greatest adventure

2008-12-10T13:40:00.000-08:00

President John F. Kennedy once said,

"Many years ago the great British explorer George Mallory,who was to die on Mount Everest,was asked why did he want to climb it.He said, 'Because it is there.'
Well, space is there, and we're going to climb it,and the moon and the planets are there,and new hopes for knowledge and peace are there.
And, therefore, as we set sail we ask God's blessing

on the most hazardous and dangerous and greatest adventureon which man has ever embarked."

Much later we put the first man on the moon and brought him back safely. President John F. Kennedy laid the foundations for many things in his term as our nation's president. Yesterday I took a step towards a goal that I had long wanted but was to fearful to accept - until now. In the coming months I am hoping, and prying to God that I move forwards with it...

Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life

2008-11-19T05:04:00.000-08:00

Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me... seems as if they are making a come back! These are some disturbing times that we live in, so in the spirit of these times a song.

Some men fight for country and crown
Some men fight for silver and gold
Some men fight to win their renown
Some men, they just do as they're told
Some men kill for a bit o' coconut
Some men kill for a nut praline

But give *me* all o' your fake chocolate
For I'm a pirate o' the carob bean
Ohhhhh... fifteen Mounds on a dead man's chest
Yoo-hoo-hoo, and a bottle o' Rum
Twix and the Snickers had done for the rest
Yoo-hoo-hoo, and a bottle o' Rum
Yoo-hoo-hoo! - and a bottle o' Rums

Reflections on my life

2008-11-14T10:52:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you about my thoughts. Call me crazy but I feel as if I have found the true meaning of life. Maybe not for you. But for me I feel that I have. As I sit at work on my lunch, high above in downtown Pittsburgh, I cannot help but appreciate life.

I have spent the last few months learning a new job, I resigned from the old bank in early July and joined the ranks of another much larger bank. There are times I miss the old bank, mostly the people and the good times I enjoyed but it was a change I had to undertake as the old bank was ... going down the crapper.

Not only did my entire perspective of the world change but my life plan or at least a brief blueprint of my life has come to me.

I want to live my life as a banker. A banker you ask? Well, bankers can make a lot of money, even in today’s challenging environment! A couple of years ago this would not have been my exact response. My response was be a teacher! Times have changed and now I want a good income, stable job, as I wrote that last line I realize in today’s climate banking is anything but stable. But we have to remember that life is not about money it’s about getting to the destination.

Money truly is the root of all evil but I still want my share.

Money is what keeps people in jobs that they hate for their entire lives.

Day in and day out people sit in their offices like zombies counting the seconds down till the next minute comes because they will be that much closer to being able to leave. However not for me, I like working in the office and banking is the path I want to take. I want to travel this entire world. I need to see everything and my career in banking will pay my way.

What will lead me on my first journey? In one word, it’s love. I am aware of the challenges but I embrace the challenge with open arms.

At this point in my life I am looking for exploration too. I know I am not ready to settle down but in a small way I do crave it. And I do not think that this is a bad thing.

My actions are not always great, but what can I do. For I am only human.

The girls I have hurt, the friends I have left, my family I have embarrassed. But for every negative thing I have done in my life I feel like I have done something positive.

I can make people laugh. I make them feel good about themselves. I do my very best to work hard.

So what do you think? Do you have a good grasp on what the heck is going on in this world? Honestly I might not have one clue but by keeping faith and living for something other than ourselves we will each find our own path. We will each figure out exactly what this world is about.

To all the freshmen: go out and meet new friends. I lived my freshman year in a cramped house with my uncle and aunt. Be brave. Use your courage and follow your heart. Everyone is in the same position. Not one person is better than another.

Sophomores: Use this year to hold on to the friendships you have made in your freshmen year. Find what you love and stick to it. We can change the world. Do not be lazy for hard work is the only obstacle in the way of your success and lack of hard work is the path to failure.

Attention juniors: Enjoy your life. Take a step back and look in the mirror. Look deep down into your eyes. Do you see who you have become? Is it not beautiful? Seize the day, each day. Live your life to the best of your abilities and do not hold back.

Seniors: As John Mayer said in the song, "No Such Thing," "There is no such thing as the real world." Do not be afraid to leave College. You are ready. You have put in the work and for that you will be forever grateful.

As I sit on this office I can not help but want to cry. Cry and love life. I want to thank all of you that have supported me in my efforts. For without you, I would not be anyone.

If I could give you one last word of advice from my moment of clarity. Hold on to your friends, hold onto your family and keep your faith.

My faith in God has been hiding but I know it will return. Without my faith, my family and friends have been my rocks. Go out and love. Love life. Love yourself. Love one another.

Do not settle for the minimum. Write down your goals and do not stop reaching for them until success is achieved. With a little heart anything is attainable. Even if at times you waiver just a little because life is not about the destination but the journey to that destination.

Obama Vs. Palin

2008-09-04T05:06:00.001-07:00

Lets really look at the experience comparison:
Obama: B.A in political science from Columbia University, with a specialization in international relations
J.D. in Law from Hardvard, graduated magna cum laude; President of the Harvard Law Review12 years (92-04) teaching constitutional law
7 years State Senator: sponsored more than 800 bills
4 years Senator for Illinos, a state with 12.8 million people

Palin: Bachelor's in journalism from University of Idaho
4 years Wasilla City Council (8000 people)
6 years Wasilla mayor (8000 people)
1 year "Ethics Commissioner of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission"
20 months governor of a state with 660,000 people

Do the Republicans really think we're so stupid that we would believe she is more experienced than Obama? Give me a break… but don't take my word on it.

Here is a news story from AP; Prominent Republican analysts Peggy Noonan and Mike Murphy became the latest victims of an open microphone Wednesday, caught after a segment on MSNBC trashing John McCain's pick of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate. Noonan, a Wall Street Journal columnist and former speechwriter for Ronald Reagan, and Murphy, a campaign strategist and onetime aide to John McCain, can both be heard expressing disbelief with the pick of Palin after they apparently thought they were in a commercial break. “I come out of the blue swing-state governor world, Engler, Whitman, Thompson, Mitt Romney,” Murphy said during the mishap which has since been posted on YouTube. Murphy later flatly says of the pick, "It's not going to work."
Noonan is heard going even further, saying of the presidential race, "It's over."

"I think they went for this — excuse me– political bulls–t about narratives," Noonan also said. "Every time the Republicans do that, because that's not where they live and it's not what they're good at, they blow it."

Murphy, who was a senior adviser to John McCain's 2000 presidential bid, also adds, "You know what's really the worst thing about it? The greatness of McCain is no cynicism, and this is cynical." UPDATE: Writing on the Wall Street Journal Web site, Noonan apologizes for using profanity and says she was not claiming McCain's campaign was "over."

"In our off-air conversation, I got on the subject of the leaders of the Republican party assuming, now, that whatever the base of the Republican party thinks is what America thinks. I made the case that this is no longer true, that party leaders seem to me stuck in the assumptions of 1988 and 1994, the assumptions that reigned when they were young and coming up," she writes. "The first lesson they learned is the one they remember," I said to [MSNBC's Chuck] Todd — and I'm pretty certain that is a direct quote. But, I argued, that's over, those assumptions are yesterday, the party can no longer assume that its base is utterly in line with the thinking of the American people. And when I said, "It's over!" — and I said it more than once — that is what I was referring to."

I won't be voting for that bitter old man

2008-08-25T04:57:00.000-07:00

McCain’s campaign is an irrational mix of patriotic swagger and blindness to reality that’s proving scarily successful with uninformed voters. The world according to John McCain is one in which America is triumphant at home and abroad thanks to the Bush legacy, rolling to victory internationally and mastering its domestic economic problems. If daily news, like reports of the 10 French soldiers killed by a resurgent Taliban in Afghanistan and the U.S. government’s imminent nationalization of much of the American mortgage-lending industry, would seem to deny such a rosy scenario, then that only shows skeptics lack the courage that sustained McCain as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.

There you have it encapsulated, the McCain campaign for president, an irrational mélange of patriotic swagger and blindness to reality that is proving disturbingly successful with uninformed voters. How else to explain the many millions of Americans who tell pollsters they prefer a continuation of Republican rule when so many of them are losing their homes to foreclosure and the nation is devastated by out-of-control military spending?

The economy is in a downward spiral, the national debt is at an all-time high, the dollar is an international disgrace and inflation in July had the steepest rise in 27 years, driven by oil prices fivefold higher than when George W. Bush invaded the nation with the world’s second-largest petroleum reserves.

While the oil-rich Mideast nations we protect refuse to fully open the oil spigots as payback for our military efforts, McCain celebrates Gen. David Petraeus as his No. 1 hero for “victory” in Iraq. Aside from the reality that victory there is now defined as returning to the level of stability provided by Saddam Hussein, who the Bush administration admits had nothing to do with the bin Laden-led terrorists, even that goal requires the cooperation of our former sworn enemies, Iran’s ayatollahs.

Presumably McCain envisions a more favorable outcome for Georgia, to which he would commit the unqualified support of the United States with his outrageously overreaching statement that “we are all Georgians.” If Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama had been in contact with the leader of a nation before and after that nation provoked a war, his campaign would be a shambles. Not so McCain, who is acting as if he is already the elected commander in chief ensconced in a reconstituted neoconservative-dominated White House. By contrast, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has been reduced to a blustering bystander.

That military victory in Iraq and any other trouble spot is the key selling point of the McCain campaign is odd, because McCain’s credentials derive from participation in a war that resulted in the most ignominious defeat in U.S. history. How else to think of the loss of almost 59,000 Americans and 3.4 million Indochinese in a war that even McCain has long since not seriously tried to defend. Surely McCain accepted the notion that a Communist Party-run Vietnam was compatible with U.S. security interests when he, along with Sen. John Kerry, led the fight for U.S. recognition of Vietnam.

Wouldn’t it have been grand if McCain, who made his own pilgrimage of reconciliation to Hanoi, would have drawn the proper lesson from that sad chapter in American history — that victory isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be? Or, by extension, from the recent Olympic festivities in still-Red China, where Bush was photographed quite happily near portraits of the once-dreaded Chairman Mao, whom U.S. propaganda had long described, quite erroneously, as chief sponsor of the Vietnamese communists.

We are reminded of how brilliant Republican Richard Nixon was in rejecting the neoconservative addiction to the Cold War that McCain embraces when the late president traveled to Beijing to make peace with the man previously depicted as the bloodiest of communist dictators. It turns out that the various communist movements were nationalist above all else, and when we “lost” in Vietnam, the result was not attacks on the United States, but a war between China and Vietnam.

The lesson McCain should have learned is that the world is a complex place, that today’s enemies may be tomorrow’s negotiating partners — as Obama has at times dared to suggest — and that the neoconservative idea of a Pax Americana is a dangerous fantasy. And a costly one at that, not only in lost lives and blowback from the regions we destabilize, but also in the dollars that American taxpayers must waste.

Thanks to the absurdly misdirected war on terrorism that McCain so enthusiastically supports, we spend more annually in inflation-adjusted dollars on the military than at any time since World War II, even more than during the Korean and Vietnam wars. Vote for McCain and forget about funding to solve the Social Security, Medicare and subprime mortgage disasters or for anything else that truly would make America stronger.

Just a thought

2008-08-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

Never say, "No!", Always say, "interesting!", though, at times I am afraid of making mistakes. I want to always accept the challenges of life. After all we can't live without it. As a person I can't grow without challenges. Well, everyday is a challenge, but it really depends on how we each perceive these things. Anything can happen as I live my daily life. To be successful or not are just the possibilities I can attain by taking the risks. Sometimes I am happy with my performance on that particular day, and sometimes were not. Its just that, every day is not a perfect day. But I have to live my life over and over again without any idea on what comes next day after day. Never say, "No!", Always say, "interesting!", because I have to fill my life with experiences.

After all Life is a history so I have to make a history, day by day by day.

Stay tuned for "reflections"...

My theme this morning

2008-08-12T04:39:00.000-07:00

To dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe, to bear with
unbearable sorrow, to run where the brave dare not go, to right the
unrightable wrong, to love pure and chaste from afar, to try when your
arms are to weary, to reach the unreachable star -- this is my quest!

That and to find a really good beer!

The choice is clear as to whom to vote for

2008-08-11T04:22:00.000-07:00

Whom to vote for this year? There is a differcult question to answer and originally back before John McCain took the lead position for the GOP I was leaning towards Ralph Nader. However the dangers of John McCain winning is to great to risk that so Barack Obama will be my choice this year. Over the weekend Barack Obama is contrasting Iraq’s budget surplus and America’s budget deficit as one of the reasons a change is needed in Washington. The Senator from Illinois makes the comments in the Democratic Radio Address. It's the first time he’s delivered the weekly address since becoming my party’s presumptive presidential nominee. He said, “We learned this week was that the Iraqi government now has a $79 billion budget surplus thanks to their windfall oil profits. And while this Iraqi money sits in American banks, (thank you) American taxpayers continue to spend $10 billion a month to defend and rebuild Iraq. That’s right. America faces a huge budget deficit. Iraq has a surplus.” He went on to explain that, “Now, Senator McCain promises to continue President Bush’s open-ended commitment to the war in Iraq, while refusing to pressure Iraqis to take responsibility for their own country. Let me be clear: we are well over five years into a war in a country that had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks. Furthermore our brave men and women in uniform have completed every mission they’ve been given. Our country has spent nearly a trillion dollars in Iraq, even as our schools are under funded, our roads and bridges are crumbling, and the cost of everything from groceries to a gallon of gas is soaring." He made a profound point... with the following statement, “the American people are worse off than they were eight years ago” and that the choice the presidential election between him and presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain could not be clearer." Barack Obama is correct, we can either chose to continue down the same road and watch this nation go from an economic recession to a depression or we can bravely stand up and choose someone else. John McCain has spent 30 years as a Washington insider doing the business of special interests at a profit to himself. If he was the great reformer - the maverick that his advertisements claim him to be then this nation would not be in the trouble it finds itself in now. John McCain has no answers to the problems that middles class Americans are faced with - John McCain is the problem and the choice for me is not McSame but change and I intend on voting for Barack Obama.

Tis that season again

2008-08-11T04:08:00.000-07:00

Tis that season again, it may only be a pre-season game but the Steelers' 16-10 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles is still a victory. Roethlisberger completed both passes he threw, a pair of 19-yarders, the second to Santonio Holmes for the game's first score to cap a brisk, eight-play, 80-yard drive. Donovan McNabb and the Eagles also looked crisp, and McNabb played far more than Roethlisberger but I say BOOOO to McNabb. The Eagles scored a touchdown and a field goal on their first two drives, during which McNabb completed 10 of 13 passes for 97 yards and a touchdown, but were shut out the rest of the night from ever scoring again. The two biggest questions at the end of last season were answered coming into the first preseason game.

BTW

2008-07-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

BTW, not to be confused with BUI, (Blogging Under the Influence) an BTW is By The Way ... I have long since given up on the quest to teach and have embraced my career in banking. I can not say I am disappointed in my choice. Banking has been good to me over the past few years, my previously post hinted at a job change. That I did, it was really crazy because I did not apply for the job, this very large financial company had called me! They recruited me, gave me a boost to my self-esteem and the salary is a great deal better then the other bank. Over all I am happy, but on a personal note last Friday after work I ended up walking over to the southside because a buddy of mine sent me a text earlier that day. It said,"i'm comin to da burgh meet me a dees?" My response was "ok". The bud was KC, he moved to Atlanta about two years ago, it wa scool catching up with a friend. To sum up our conversation, OH BTW KC also brought his new girl and KC if you read this she is awesome and i hope that I can meet someone just like her soon. Much sooner then some may think?! (This is a cliff hanger) Anyway KC's girl showed me photos from their new digital camera, I saw the new house, car, three motorcycles and a cat. I was impressed but then again he was always a hard worker. He did mention he missed Dees Cafe, which still puzzles me why would anyone miss that dive bar? Friday night was the first time I was in dees since new years eve, not much changed except a few new faces. Oh before I met KC in dees I walked around, somewhat aimless around the old neighborhood and saw well enough on that topic.

My last day at the bank

2008-07-03T04:29:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day at the bank, Monday the 7th I will begin my new job with another company. Everyone is being so nice, big hugs and a few tears. :-) it feels bitter sweet. I'm so excited to be moving on but i'm a little sad to be leaving too. I will indeed miss this bank, the coworkers the few friends i made and especially the friday banker happy hours. I did make good connections here but i do have to say... I am so looking forward to this new opportunity! I've got a busy weekend ahead of me, tomorrow i need to finish packing and get to the store to buy supplies for myself. I need to get a hair cut and buy some new clothers... on sunday, i need to scrub my apartment and then drive to my brothers. I think the only time i'll really get to rest during the on coming week will be at the mall shopping. Anyway I both sad, and excited today because it is the end of one job and the beginning of a new one. Strange feelings noit the same when i left FedEx for the bank, i hated my job at that transportation company and I like my job at the bank. The opportunity that presented itself to me with the other company was just to good to let go, I had to take it. I just had too! Oh well that is life...

July 1st thoughts

2008-07-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Tis a food day, my leaving and Matt or as he is now known as Moe is getting hitched!

reflections

2008-06-30T03:48:00.000-07:00

Although it has not been my personal experience as of yet, one thing that I've noticed about the banking field in general is that, while formal advancement may be tough, there seems to be a higher level of malleability in terms of creating/morphing positions. At my current bank there are a lot of people who've been here for a while, and rather than advancing into a higher-level position, have managed to make lateral or upward moves by carving out new positions for themselves. I don't know if this is good or bad; on the one hand it requires an extra amount of motivation and proactive-ness, and messes with the salary steps of an organization when nobody knows where these new positions fit in; on the other hand, it can provide opportunities that aren't available in any of the existing positions, or even fill in vital gaps.

My current thought process about being a banking professional - what does it mean to move up the ladder? Where would I go? As an banker, I want to always be in direct contact with people (teach school programs, lead tours, etc.). Unfortunately, to move up the ladder typically means more meetings and more desk time. Where is the perfect marriage of being a manger, having a good salary, and still doing what you love?

I have always thought that I am not one of those notorious job-hoppers to which human resource reps. Refers to. I started my professional life in Pittsburgh, PA in 1999. I am now in my 5th position in my 4th organization. Now, for those of you in the Pittsburgh area, you know that the average tenure in any position for thirty-some things is somewhere in the range of 9-12 months. My last two organizations have been more then three year stints (and counting). The reason for each move was for better pay, more responsibility.I certainly don't recommend this career path. With each new position it becomes more and more difficult to explain the numerous job moves, especially since I'm now in positions of greater responsibility and interviewing directly with those individuals who have been in their positions for decades. I seem to be rambling on here so let me just end this post here by saying this; Today begins a new week but it also begins the last week at the bank. I did not get fired, or laid off I am leaving on my own terms. I received an offer of employment with another financial services company, one that is not invested in the residential mortgage market. As I come to the end of my career with bank I realize I learned so much about banking, corporate finance and myself. There is a great deal I will miss after this week with the bank, there are people that I will miss and some especially specific auditors I will not miss. I am looking forwards to next week with a higher expectations because not only am I starting a new job that pays a good bit more then I am making now but I feel I have unlimited potential to grow - professionally with the new employer.

I want this

2008-06-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

Or maybe just the ladies that go with it?!

It just breaks my heart

2008-06-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

It just breaks my heart when I read the story about FedEx swings to 4Q loss and issues profit warning as this Shipping company says first quarter profit will miss forecasts.

NEW YORK - FedEx says it swung to a loss in the fourth-quarter because of high fuel costs and issued an earnings guidance that is well below Wall Street's expectations.
FedEx sees 2009 earnings of $4.75 to $5.25 per share. Wall Street had predicted $5.92 per share. The package delivery company expects to earn 80 cents to $1 per share in the first-quarter. Analysts forecast $1.27 per share.

Memphis-based FedEx Corp. on Wednesday posted a loss of $241 million, or 78 cents per share, compared with a year-ago profit of $610 million, or $1.96 per share. Excluding one-time charges, FedEx earned $1.45 per share.

Revenue rose 8 percent to $9.87 billion, from $9.15 billion a year earlier.
Analysts polled by Thomson Financial expected $1.47 per share on revenue of $9.6 billion.
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25238663/

Would you believe?

2008-06-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

Would you believe I was a big fan of the original TV show? Of course I watched the re-runs but I was still a fan. My favorite character besides Maxwell Smart was Agent 99, played by the talented and shapely Barbara Feldon.

The plot was always the same: Bumbling Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 for CONTROL, with a great deal of help from his competent partner Agent 99, battles the forces of KAOS and "loving every minute of it." That last bit was a famous one liner from the show, that and, "would you believe". I don't like when they create movies based on the classics shows I grew up on, they seem to never keep to the original story. I hope this show is different.

What was the name of the robot?

Where did the magic go?!

2008-06-06T11:04:00.001-07:00

There seemed to be a bit of magic left, but in the end, the Pens fell short coming oh-so-close to sending Game 6 to overtime. It was an unbelievable season; one that a month from now will seem more so after the sting of last night's loss wears off.

It was an extremely emotional locker room last night. It was one of the hardest tasks I've had in this profession. Here are these guys who you feel like you've lived and died with over the last 2 months, all you want to do is let them deal with the emotions, but you have to do your job and stick a microphone and camera (or 30) in their face, with tears coming down their cheeks, trying not to feel like the intruder you are inwhat's supposed to be their safe haven. It was hard.

Ryan Malone couldn't speak. I think that's as clear as any that he may have played his final game in a Penguins uniform. Sidney Crosby demonstrated his true colors answering every question thrown his way despite tears breaking through. Ryan Whitney had his head buried, but still spoke with the media.

I was talking about this before the game -- it's so much easier to lose in a blowout than at the last second. You're not left with those feelings of coulda, shoulda, woulda. You know early the game is over. Last night the Pens fought hard to come back, and nearly tied it in the final SECOND, only to be sent packing and watching someone else celebrate on their home ice. It's a tough pill to swallow.

We'll soon find out how much of this year's team will be back next year. I hope somehow everyone is able to be re-signed, but we all know that can't happen. Only time will tell, as it will heal this wound for fans and players.

I, for one, can attest to the pain. In college I won 2 championships in 3 years. A loss sandwhiched by 2 ####. But even after winning that second trophy, the loss still bothered me. It still does if I let it to this day. I had a chance to tie up the game late, (it would have taken some ridiculous acrobatics and luck... and probably a little (a lot) more skill than I possessed) but it still eats at me that I didn't get it done.

I'm sure these Pens will be feeling the same thing. We can only hope they use it as motivation to ensure they never again have to experience what they did last night.

A great game

2008-06-03T03:52:00.000-07:00

Not so fast Motor City. The Detroit Red Wings' road to the Stanley Cup has another stop to make. Against all odds, the Pittsburgh Penguins stayed alive in the Stanley Cup finals with a 4-3 victory in Game 5 that ended on Petr Sykora's goal 9:57 into the third overtime Monday night. With Jiri Hudler serving a 4-minute penalty for high-sticking, Sykora wound up in the right circle and ripped a drive past Chris Osgood to end the marathon that lasted 4½ hours. The series heads back to Pittsburgh for Game 6 on Wednesday night. Early on, that scenario seemed likely after the Penguins scored twice in the first period and carried a 2-1 lead into the third. However, the Red Wings tied it on Pavel Datsyuk's power-play goal at 6:43 and went ahead for the first time 2:40 later when Brian Rafalski scored. The party was on in the final minute. Penguins' goalie Marc-Andre Fleury was on the bench, the Pittsburgh net was empty and the seconds ticked down toward Detroit's fourth Stanley Cup Championship in 11 seasons. Now, the treasured trophy will go back into its crate and head to Pennsylvania where the Red Wings will have another shot at their 11th title in franchise history.

For your enjoyment, a story

2008-05-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

Urbana, Ill. – After more than thirty years of speculation and prosecutor ineptitude, the popular McDonald’s character Hamburglar was arraigned yesterday in an Urbana, Ill. Federal Court on charges of more than 2 million thefts of various hamburgers and fast food side-dishes. Appearing in his traditional cape, hat and mask, the Hamburglar entered his initial plea of not-guilty before Judge Rita Wang.The thefts occurred over a 34 year period in all 50 states and over 200 countries worldwide. Most of the victims were local restaurant chains who attempted to hone in on the McDonald’s hamburger as a competitor. The breadth of the charges would dictate and automatic quadruple life sentence.

Appearing with the accused to hear the charges was his lawyer, Grimace Attorney at Law, who despite limited experience is confident his client will be cleared of all charges.“I studied law at McDonalds University, and I have known the Hamburglar for many years,” said Grimace. “Duh. I would bet the color purple on his virtuousness.”District Attorney David Thomas, however, is decidedly less confident in the Hamburglar’s presumed innocence.“Here is a man who for thirty-some years has been going from place to place stealing people’s hamburgers and it has finally caught up with him,” said an exuberant Thomas. “I am excited for the day the Hamburglar goes the McSlammer.”This is not the first time the Hamburglar has been charged with burger theft, but it is the first since 1993 when the charges were thrown out of court after former Mayor McCheese refused to testify on behalf of the prosecution. Rumors swirled he was paid off by Birdie the Early Bird and the Happy Meal Gang. McCheese was widely castigated after the incident, and recently served time for selling heroin while in office, but remains steadfast in his defense of the accused.“I still think he’s innocent, sure,” said McCheese. “I’ve never doubted Hammy. Not once. And you need not pay me for that.”Thomas was not the D.A. for the 1993 trial, but started preparing for this trial as far back as 2000, and is prepared to throw everything, including the kitchen sink, at the striped stealer.“I already have commitments from Wendy, the King, Carl Sr., Harold and Khumar, Chuck Cheese, Popeye, Tim Horton and others who are willing to testify against the Hamburglar,” said Thomas. “I think it is safe to say the world is tired of this man thinking he can get away with stealing.”The Hamburglar himself released a brief statement before the arraignment began.“Robble, robble, robble,” he said.“I think that statement in itself shows the nonchalance with which he operates,” said a perturbed Thomas. “He is arrogant beyond belief to think he could steal hamburgers and get away with it.”It was that arrogance in itself that finally caught up with the Hamburglar. According to longtime friend Gwyneth Paltrow, authorities contacted her after viewing the Hamburglar’s MySpace page, which proudly showed him eating a hamburger in a bathroom stall at an unnamed restaurant in Taiwan with the phrase “Over 2 Million Served, Biotch” under it.“He got careless,” said Paltrow. “He thought he was above the law. I’m worried for him.”Grimace maintains the web-page is satire on his perceived public image.“It was a joke! A joke. He knows people think he is a thief – hell, its in his name,” said Grimace. “So he decided to make a little play on it. That was a burger he made himself, and staged in a local McDonald’s – with their permission. The 2 Million served is an obvious play on his employer! They are ok with it. I can’t believe this would cause an arrest.”Web forensic specialists are examining the pictures to determine their origin and validity.Meanwhile, the Hamburglar is free in $5 million bond.

Bush and McCain what's the difference?

2008-05-26T12:21:00.000-07:00

President George W. Bush (R) and Republican candidate Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), face the media in the White House Rose Garden in Washington, March 5, 2008. Photo comes from REUTERS/Jason Reed.

The answer is: None...

Awesome

2008-05-19T03:42:00.000-07:00

The excitement for the Penguins has reached new heights now that they are playing for the Stanley Cup. Coworkers and I gathered for the first time at Mellon Arena to cheer the team to victory against the Philadelphia Flyers in what came to be the last game of the Eastern Conference Finals. There were those that didn't have tickets, like myself and the coworkers braved the sometimes cloudy and rainy skies to watch the Pens on the large LCD big screen outside the Igloo. (the nickname for the mellon arena.) "We must of met up there at 9:30 and sat missed the rain, then while many fans brought their white Penguins towels, one fan made his own replica of the Stanley Cup. I saw it and can't wait to see the team carry the real one back to Pittsburgh! To sum it all up the game was awesome!

Do a drunk man's words and actions = a sober man's thoughts?

2008-05-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

Do a drunk man's words and actions = a sober man's thoughts? You decide, Hi all... I have been going out with coworkers the last few days. Everything is going great since the bank got a huge cash infusion. I wish someone would give me a huge cash infusion! I have to say I gotten to know my fellow bankers very well and most are very funny, laid back, goofy, somewhat immature at times but in general we are a team.

Lately I often find myself feeling a little vague as to what is going on in my head. I dont know if it is just me over-analyzing everything... since in my last friendships went well you know, we talk about anything but work at the many local happy hours - mostly bullshit. Anyway I am reluctanant to open up on my blog about me just because of past mistakes. For example, last night I said some pretty intense stuff to a person. Looking back I know now I should not of but I did and well another person over heard it and now I am on the shit list with a certain auditor. Anyways... what I am wondering is if she really means this stuff or is it just the booze doing the talking? Any imput would be appreciated. Thanks a million!

Oh Yeah, the Stanley cup!

2008-05-12T03:53:00.000-07:00

Pittsburgh Penguins Top Flyers 4-2 with Max Talbot who scored the go-ahead goal midway through the third period and the Pittsburgh Penguins took a two-game lead in the Eastern Conference finals by beating the Philadelphia Flyers 4-2 Sunday night.

I miss football season

2008-05-08T04:18:00.000-07:00

I was reading a report by given by Matt Walsh, the former New England Patriots videographer who has become the key figure in "spygate," has turned over eight tapes to the NFL offices that reportedly contain evidence of New England coaches taping signals from other teams coach, including the Steelers prior to the 2002 AFC Championship game, according to the New York Times. The Patriots came into Pittsburgh, and despite being 10-point underdogs, beat the Steelers 24-17. After the game, players were saying how the Patriots players almost seemed to know the plays before they ran them. Before that Steeler title game, Walsh's tapes show the Patriots recording signs of both Steeler offense and defense coaches edited to two different camera angles of acutal plays that were called. On Tuesday, Walsh is scheduled to meet in person with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and then Sen. Arlen Specter. So i ask you are they really as good as they claim to be?

This Pens Fan is Ready For Flyers Match-Up

2008-05-06T04:12:00.000-07:00

Have not seen many Pittsburgh Penguins fans so fired up for the up coming Friday's game. It is one of the Eastern Conference finals against our cross-state rivals the Philadelphia Flyers. My home team the Pens moved into round three with a clutch overtime goal by Marian Hossa -- his first goal of the playoffs came at just the right time. This will be the fourth meeting between the Pens and Flyers in the post-season. Philadelphia has won all of the previous meetings and this time promises to be an intense battle or at least I think it will be tough. My coworker feels that Philly has always been physical with the Pens but either case It's going to be great to watch. The first game will take place Friday at Mellon Arena but i prefer calling it the Civic Arena.

Here's the schedule for the Eastern Conference Finals match-up between the Pittsburgh
Penguins and the Philadelphia Flyers has been announced:

Friday, May 9: Philadelphia at Penguins
Sunday, May 11: Philadelphia at Penguins
Tuesday, May 13: Penguins at Philadelphia
Thursday, May 15: Penguins at Philadelphia
Sunday, May 18: Philadelphia at Penguins, if necessary
Tuesday, May 20: Penguins at Philadelphia, if necessary
Thursday, May 22: Philadelphia at Penguins, if necessary

Let's go Pens!

2008-04-28T04:35:00.000-07:00

With every win the Penguins rack up on the road to the Stanley Cup, playoff fever continues to catch on more and more across the BURGH! You can quote me later, "We have to win". "There's only one outcome possible for Sunday - victory.

It seems fans have one goal in mind for their favorite hockey team or at least this fan does. I would like to see the Pittsburgh Penguins win the Stanley Cup that would be cool. What is funny is while the Pens battled the Rangers in front of another sold out, excited crowd inside Mellon Arena; in what seems to be a new tradition, many more fans gathered outside to watch the game on an LCD big screen. The crowd outside was estimated to be at several thousand more then the numbers of fans in PNC park watching the worst baseball team Friday night.

In the end, the Penguins racked up another win, with a 2-0 victory over the Rangers, to build momentum going into Game 3, and fans couldn't have been happier. The Penguins are set to play the Rangers in Game 3 on Tuesday at 7 p.m. in New York

If you can help Connie

2008-04-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

From a email: Hello Friends and Family! Here's the latest update on our efforts to find Buffy:Dad and Carolyn went down this week and picked up all three kids and met Bill (Buffy's estranged husband) at the house so the kids could get some of their clothes and personal items. It went well. The kids were quiet, no one even tried to talk about Bethanie. Dad told them he would keep in touch and the kids can call them anytime.Dad's last contact from the sheriff's office on Friday stated they have nothing new to report. They are still interviewing people. They have not ruled anyone out, but have no definite suspect(s). They had a helicopter out and boats on the river again and will do so at least once a week.A wonderful article was written about Buffy in the Ithaca Journal this past week.

It definitely captures her personality and how much she's loved by all. If you get a chance check it out and post a comment. Dad already posted.We're all still searching and handing out flyers. If you're interested in helping out in those areas call Dad at 315-697-7050 for search efforts or Will at 315-520-0270 for flyer info.Thanks everyone for all your help and concern. Keep praying and sending those good vibes. Buffy needs us and we need you!Big hugs!Connie

Go go Pittsburgh Penguins!

2008-04-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

Evgeni Malkin and Jarko Ruutu scored second-period goals, leading the Pittsburgh Penguins to a 3-1 win over the Ottawa Senators on Wednesday night to complete a four-game sweep of their first-round series. Sidney Crosby scored into an empty net with 7.5 seconds remaining and had an assist, and Marc-Andre Fleury made 21 saves for Pittsburgh, which got its first sweep in 16 years and its first playoff series win since 2001. Cory Stillman scored for Ottawa, which was swept out of the first round for the third time in its 11 consecutive playoff appearances. The sweep was a measure of revenge for the young Penguins, who were knocked out of last year's playoffs in five games by the Senators. Ottawa went on to make its first Stanley Cup finals appearance in modern franchise history, losing in five to Anaheim. The Penguins also became the first team to advance to the second round. Pittsburgh will face Boston, if the Bruins overcome their 3-1 series deficit against Montreal to advance, or the winner of the New Jersey-New York Rangers series. Injured Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson played his second straight game and was reunited with linemates Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley, but it wasn't enough. Malkin scored his second goal of the playoffs 1:40 into the second. The 21-year-old Russian opened the scoring during the Penguins' second power-play opportunity as he flicked his own rebound past Martin Gerber with a one-handed backhand on a setup by Crosby. Stillman brought the sold-out Scotiabank Place crowd of 19,954 to life midway through the period when he tied it at 1. Stillman pushed a loose puck at the right edge of the crease slowly into the goal at 10:31 for his second goal of the playoffs. Ruutu restored Pittsburgh's lead for good at 15:28 with a sensational individual effort after he was sent in on Gerber by Tyler Kennedy. With Senators defenseman Brian Lee in pursuit, Ruutu drove the net and stopped with a turn to the left as he spun around to avoid Lee, beating Gerber with a hard backhand along the ice and between the Ottawa goalies pads. An apparent tying goal by Ottawa's Antoine Vermette late in the second was reviewed and disallowed because he kicked it in with his right foot. Pittsburgh, which had lost its last three playoff series since a second-round win over Buffalo in 2001, hadn't swept since consecutive sweeps of Boston and Chicago on its way to its second straight Stanley Cup in 1992. The Senators got off to an NHL record 15-2 start, then struggled through the rest of the regular season, barely hanging on to one of the final playoff berths in the East after general manager Bryan Murray fired head coach John Paddock to move back behind the bench himself.

Girl Watching 101 in Costa Rica

2008-04-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

During my three trips to Costa Rica one of the most enjoyable things I do is watching the country's abundance of beautiful women. I often wonder how one small country can have so many attractive women. I asked my friends if my perception was distorted. They all agreed that Costa Rica Rica abounds with some of the most gorgeous women on the planet. So where can you see Costa Rica's natural beauties or should I say natural wonders? The answer is, almost anywhere.

Now I know why Heredia is called "The City of the Flowers." The area around the campus of the University of Costa Rica in San Pedro is also good. Fantastic indoor sports for observing Costa Rican women are the many malls in San Jose or the adjacent suburbs. So my hat goes off to Costa rica...

Looking forwards to my next trip...

BUI

2008-04-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Don’t dreaink and driv. Simiarlly, don’t drink and blog, but I know I’ve nbeen tardy in inupdating my entries here. So while I have some time 9even t though I’m drunk, I thought I’d go ahead and add some inconsequential thoughts (yes, those last two lenthy words required everyer ounce of my focus and attentsion).

Came back from bar watfching the Penguins vs snetors game with the co workers. Fuckin’ PENS RULE! Nick I hate Moe's smirk. So I have not purchased a car before he purchased an house.

Alson ont he tube at the same was time wasthe NHL game with the PENS. Fellow highs chool classmate Shawn Crosby the captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins scored agola! gola! goal. Goal! hoorah!

Damn, the Thills The HIlls Hills on MTV is so good - NOT. Spencer is pbasically a sociopath. Heidi is a C cup;. LC is doep, but her wcorworker atVogue is the hotness. Wifey material sort.
my new njob is the hotness hopefully. good tyitle. commerical loan banker, US. (Oh, yea, for Hmm, tasty, it is to bad things a gonna shit.

Blood in the water

2008-04-04T04:03:00.000-07:00

The sharks smell blood in the water and oh how they are circling! Yes my bank, the job i enjoy is ... well wounded by the subprime fall out and the sharks are circling. In the last week three reports from the AP press all report other banks in talks for a piece of our action.

Troubling times in the banking world but hey as my manager once explained, he been in banking all his life and he saw four mergers... that's just the nature of the banking industry. The good thing is one bank is the same as the next so you learn a job and do it well you can easily transition to the next bank. And so I wait... wait for the next bank but I still have hope we will stay whom we are ... our own.

General thought

2008-03-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

For weeks I have been planning, talking, and thinking about this whole compact life experiencement and now it has finally begun well it is coming to it's conclusion. It is a bit of a relief that the year has started off rocky at the work and now all I can do is go along for the ride. No more last minute stock piling, no more wondering if I have everything I need, no more guessing what it will be like. It’s coming down to the wire - not talking about work more of a personal matter.

I didn’t end up buying anything like a membership on matchonline a few months back but I tired a different site. Enough of that for now I am goint to instead close the laptop and go out side for dinner. It's a tuesday tradition I actually didn’t buy very much extra stuff to prepare for 2008 summer of change becuase that would sort of defeat the point.

I am still having trouble explaining why or why I am doing this in a clear way. I talked to some of my friends from the old fedex days and also friends Point Park University. I still don’t completely know why we felt so strongly led to do this, and so it is a little awkward to explain. I know that I have the same goals and some expectations for what I want to see happen this summer, but I am sure that God has some interesting things instore for me this year.

The battle for Pennslyvania...

2008-03-06T12:27:00.000-08:00

And now, the deluge: Thousands upon thousands of campaign operatives and volunteers coming this way; a constant drumbeat of political advertising on the airwaves and Internet; phone banks and robo-calls on overdrive; sold-out hotels and conference rooms; stressed-out police departments managing crowd control at rallies and concerts; swarming national media, some already plying tired rust-belt stereotypes.

All this and more is headed to Pittsburgh, and Pennsylvania, as neck-and-neck Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama train their sights on the delegate-rich territory in hopes of clinching the Democratic nomination for president.

The barrage -- "Circus doesn't begin to describe it."

An thought

2008-01-25T13:32:00.000-08:00

A person asked me recently where once myself and a few other people are successful in holding a specific individual accountable for lying and cheating people financially on whether or not the person can ever buy back my trust by financially compensating back more than the original amount. For example, it would be like someone stealing candy from a store and then having to pay for it while offering to pay more as well in an attempt to have a good standing record with them again.

My personal answer was definitely no to that. The one time so far where I can specifically remember where someone offered to financially compensate me to earn my trust again was actually for a job when I was younger. It was a pretty typical example too where I’m sure a lot of people have experienced as a person tells you how great you are and all that when it comes to work yet you find out that they are undercutting you in every way possible with some shady tactics.

Maybe it’s just me, but whenever people try to buy back trust with money especially after the fact that the damage has already been done that it usually feels like they are doing it to save their own face as oppose to genuinely changing.

Dubya Finally Gets It

2008-01-16T03:48:00.000-08:00

Dubya Finally Gets It so WHO BLABBED?

Let's not beat around the bush: Who told the president that the economy isn't great?
Someone sure did, because last Monday in Chicago, Dubya came right out and informed an audience of business brass that in contrast to what he has been saying loud and clear for lo! these many months now, the economy isn't going gangbusters; in fact, it's looking a tad peaked.
Why, he even went so far as to admit that jobs, which he had consistently exulted that, thanks to his tax cuts, were growing in glorious profusion, are drying up like over-the-hill peonies left out in an unforgiving sun.

Just to show how thoroughly clued in Mr. Bush has suddenly become, he disclosed in muted fashion that housing had fallen off a cliff, that a lot of mortgages weren't worth the paper they're written on, that oil prices have gone through the roof and that ordinary folk, as they are wont to do, are worried. Golly.

We're happy to report that after reciting his modest litany of woe, the president, in an attempt to cheer up the audience, not to mention the rest of the country, which happens to have a large contingent of those worried ordinary folk, declared he was optimistic. Of course, that's easy for him to say: After all, he knows, come what may, his job -- and the perks and paychecks that go with it -- are 100%-guaranteed for the next 11½ months.

We, personally, couldn't help feeling a heck of a lot better when we learned that Mr. Bush, now that he's alert to the sad facts that the economy may be slowing and homeowners especially are hurting, isn't content with a do-nothing policy. The inside poop is that to keep the feral forces of recession at bay he is determined to push hard as he can to extend his tax cuts, rather than letting them become history.

An admirable plan, whose only tiny hitch is that said tax cuts are not slated to expire for three years. Perhaps it's some genetic incapacity on our part, but we don't quite understand how extending the lower rates beyond 2010 will do all that much to dispel those masses of dark clouds hovering over today's economy, much less what ordinary folk do in the meantime -- except get a bicycle to counter runaway gasoline prices, munch leaves and finger nails to avoid the upward spiral in the cost of food and pitch a tent in the nearest vacant lot (and please don't forget the sleeping bags for the wife and kiddies) after foreclosure.

Still, we're just as glad that Dubya seems resolutely opposed to any of those hare-brained schemes that are being bandied about by irresponsible politicians (forgive the redundancy), whose primary aim is snaring votes from people in a pickle. Even in the novel instances when its intentions are not grounded in greed, stupidity or lust for power, Washington demonstrates an unerring talent for ineptitude.

If breathes there a pure soul so innocent as to be unaware that Uncle Sam is at best all thumbs, we cite the government's efforts to rescue victims of the subprime disaster. As ISI Group's Tom Gallagher and Andy Laperriere relate, back in late August, Mr. Bush, with the usual official fanfare, unveiled a plan to bulk up the Federal Housing Authority so it could help 60,000 borrowers who otherwise might not qualify for FHA financial aid. Well, at last count, nearly a full five months later, that heralded program has provided succor to a grand total of 266 -- that's right, 266 -- distressed borrowers.

None of this, we realize, answers the question of the identity of the babbler who spilled the beans on the state of the economy to the president. We won't keep you in further suspense: We have every reason to believe it was Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve.
That kind of raises a question, we suppose, since Mr. Bernanke has been nearly as much in the dark on the state of the economy as Mr. Bush. More properly, it changes the question to: Who told Mr. Bernanke?

And, gentlemanly as ever, Ben provided the answer himself in a speech in the nation's capital last Thursday -- the market did! Or, to quote the chairman's somewhat circuitous confession verbatim: "Financial market conditions have been sensitive to the evolving economic outlook."
Too bad Mr. Bernanke didn't take the market's message to heart earlier. Conceivably, as a recovering academic he was too conscious of the estimable Paul Samuelson's famous formulation that the stock market had predicted 11 of the past five recessions. Still, Ben should know, that's still way better than the performance of most economists.

MR. BERNANKE COULDN'T have been too pleased with the markets' second thoughts on his vow to take decisive action if things go from bad to worse. And we don't blame him for a minute. Gee whiz, what do those pesky investors want, anyway?
The chairman, looking most funereal, flexes his biceps and flaunts his new machete-wielding stance. The crowd goes wild and the market takes off late Thursday afternoon, obviously goosed by Mr. Bernanke's words and manner both. For he was plainly betokening a half percentage point cut in interest rates when the Fed next meets in solemn two-day conclave, beginning Jan. 29 (breaking only for the traditional jolly lunch). What's more, he all but promised kindred action as needed in the months ahead.

The betting among Street savants is that before Ben's good right arm gets sore from swinging that old machete he'll have sliced rates from 4.25%, where they now rest, to less than 3%. Just the kind of stuff the market loves to hear.

So no doubt Mr. Bernanke went home happy Thursday night, only to have the rug pulled out from under him on Friday, when those fickle investors took it all back and stocks tanked across the board. So what happened to turn sentiment from roused to roiled?

Possibly, a little reflection (which is about all most Street denizens indulge in) revealed that the Fed's whacks out of rates last year provided a quick lift to stock prices, followed by renewed queasiness. It may have been enough, in this instance, to raise doubts anew as to just how much wallop the Fed still packs in the rate-making arena (put us down as believing "not very much").
And it hardly helped sustain the uptick in investor mood when the New York Times reported that Merrill Lynch stands to take a tidy $15 billion write-down, nearly twice the original official reckoning, and a heap more than even the Street's upwardly revised estimates have anticipated. If nothing else, it's a painful reminder that the great credit squeeze, easily the most malign and encompassing one since the Depression, is still very much with us.

The hard truth is, as the Merrill disclosure and the shotgun wedding of Bank of America and the putatively bankrupt Countrywide Financial furnish lugubrious evidence, the hemorrhaging among lenders of virtually every description and everywhere is far from stanched. Something on the order of $100 billion in write-downs have been grudgingly owned up to by the red-faced banks, and it'll likely be years and another $200-$300 billon before the dreary process sighs to an end.
It's a running, virulent wound, and the fragile financial system and the economy are destined to continue to suffer from it for a long, long while. And despite seizures of vertigo -- Friday's plunge is only the most recent -- the stock market, we fear, has yet to face up to the full measure of the damage being wrought and to be wrought.

The big washout we alluded to a few weeks back has still to come and remains a necessary prelude to any semblance of stability in the equity market.
THIS YEAR'S ROUNDTABLE SESSION was notable on several counts. A goodly number of the 11 worthies who participated were afflicted by wheezes and sniffles; there was no correlation, we can report, between the temporarily sickly and their performances last year. On that score, much like the '07 market itself, Wall Street's best and brightest had some big losers, but they more than made up for that lapse with some eyepopping winners.

More interesting because it's the first time in memory, most of the worthies were bearish on the economy and the stock market. Even the usually ebullient Abby Joseph Cohen was a bit subdued. Since the panel is loaded with contrarians, the ironic thought arose and was voiced during the seven hours of vigorous give and take and lively discussion that perhaps the Roundtable's decided tilt to the negative might itself prove a contrary indicator.
After mulling the notion, we found it interesting but not wholly persuasive, if only because the uniformity isn't all that uniform. At lunch, we think it was Felix Zulauf, when we chatted with him about it, who suggested that the Roundtable might be erring in its negative view -- but possibly by not being bearish enough. Now, that we find more than a little intriguing.

A GOOD FRIEND OF OURS who keeps a sharp eye on the investment scene and has been more than a fair investor points out that besides wretched credit conditions, slowing global economies, gathering inflationary pressures and currency debasement, the spectacular run in gold to $900 an ounce owes something to the burgeoning popularity of exchange-traded funds that specialize in gold. The ETFs, it emerges, are required to hold bullion to back up their shares. As demand for the latter mounts, so inexorably does demand for the metal.

Christmas/New Year Thoughts

2008-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come, and gone, again with some speed. After all the preparations, perhaps months of hoarding away gifts as you find them for friends or loved ones, it's all over. I always think it's a shame once Christmas arrives as the pre-Christmas period is one of anticipation. Not for gifts, well not as far as I'm concerned. I'm more interested in having a couple of days break from the robotic routine of going to work 5 days a week. It doesn't matter if I wear clean or dirty clothes or not at all, I can spend the day in a big Tshirt and nothing much else and no-one cares. I get familiar with my home again, spending 24 hours a day inside it's walls and outside in the yard, or at a local bar. There's no need to plan any of my days; whatever I feel like doing, I do, and if I don't feel like doing anything, then so be it. I love the non routineness of the break, and I mourn it when it's gone again for another year. It seems that I spend most of the year thinking about the end of it. For the last 6 years I've had breaks of a two or three days perhaps 3 times through the year i might call in sick, travelling to Costa Rica every other year for a much needed vacation. But those trips are always far and in between. The breaks were never holidays as my time away had to be scheduled; arrangements to have time off of work, deciding whether to leave my car parked near the airport or to have someone drive me in and then pick me up on my return, arranging to hire a car at the airport, booking flights, booking accommodation. On arrival I would pick out the cabbie that spoke the best English, then have him drive to wherever I was staying, have a short chat, then go.

My breaks at Christmas haven't included flying to anywhere special as it's too cold to fly north and it's also school holidays so everything is more expensive, and there are too many people everywhere. That's why I always look forward to this break because it's a chance to spend time with my family, and a chance to veg out at home. I don't go to the sales at the Malls because I know that most of what is on sale is junk the retailers couldn't flog off during the year. A lot of the so called specials are actually the same price, or even dearer, than they were during the year! I know this to be true as I used to work in retail and I knew the prices of some things before the sales and the price of them during the sales. Total ripoff for the unsuspecting looking for a bargain. The only real bargains I feel are in Walmart and it is a great time to buy sheets, towels, beach towels etc. Anything else, forget it. There will be more visits to see my Mom and trips to see cousins and my brother and his growing family, but there won't be the need to go up every few months ever again.

I guess if I were truthful I would admit that I will miss going away every few years. I have this adventure gene in me and I love to fly away. Each time I go to the airport to drop someone off, or pick someone up, I get this strong urge to go get on a plane and take off. The New Year is looming but for me it doesn't hold any great excitement. It's just another day in another year of uncertainty. I am aging and 2008 is shaping up to being a sad year for many Americans. 2008 is a year that for Myself, along with many others in our society, will perhaps be a year that we all wish that 2008 had been Al Gore's last year in office not Bush. It makes you wonder why so many people who you don't think deserve to suffer, do suffer in cruel pain before they die, and yet others who don't deserve to breathe, live on seemingly untouched by hardship.

One of the frustrations of life, an unanswerable question ... why? May the New Year bring you peace and fulfilment and may you make others less fortunate travel their roads easier by a smile or a helping hand. I was reading a news story that the richest man in Ausralia died last year - Kerry Packer. I am now richer than Kerry Packer; he has nothing and I have a few dollars. Money can't buy health, and his death proves that you can't take it with you. You might as well have little as having a lot doesn't give you eternal life nor can it save you if you are terminally ill.

An wise man once said, "Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone."

Take Care & Happy New Year 2008.

The blues

2007-11-24T09:19:00.000-08:00

We all know that life has its ups and downs. We somehow accept the ups as natural and the downs as treatable. A huge segment of western society is based on eliminating, alleviating, and curing the blues. (think of all the anti-depression medications available) Yet deigning the blues is deigning what makes us human. The blues suck and now I have them again. I ask myself why am I in this state. My job is going great, I love banking and its people, my co-workers are wonderful, and I don’t even have any issues with the management. There is no apparent reason for my mental condition. Past bouts with the blues have lead me to seek its causes in others and outside of myself. This process gives me temporary relief and a superior feeling of blaming others. It is a quick fix but doesn’t guarantee the recurrence of the blues.This morning I looked in the mirror. There starring at me was the source of my blues. Me. How could I be so stupid not to realize my blues are simply the readjustment of my expectations with the reality of my situation?To eliminate the blues I would have to forgo expectations or even worse reality! I somehow have to come to grips with the fact that my wishes may not come true. I have to learn from my neighbors to accept the downs of life on fate as I would accept life’s gifts. I need to smell the flowers around my house, make a lei of them, and give it to someone else. I need to step back, create new expectations and be ready to accept my fallibility whenever my expectations clash with oncoming reality.Let the blues come. I don’t like you, but I know that the crest follows the trough. I want to enjoy the thrill of rough seas.

Steelers Victorious Over Browns, 31-28

2007-11-12T10:05:00.000-08:00

The Cleveland Browns did almost everything possible to beat the rival Steelers. They seized a 15-point lead, forced a key turnover and twice got long kickoff returns from Joshua Cribbs even as Pittsburgh tried to kick away from him.What the Browns couldn't defend was, of all things, Ben Roethlisberger's legs in Pittsburgh's 31-28 win Sunday.
Roethlisberger scrambled 30 yards for a key touchdown during Pittsburgh's second-half comeback, then set up his own go-ahead 2-yard TD pass to Heath Miller with an important third down run as the Steelers rallied.
In a game that meant a two-game swing in the AFC North – the Browns (5-4) would have tied the Steelers (7-2) by winning - Roethlisberger's big second half overcame Cleveland quarterback
Derek Anderson's huge first half.
Pittsburgh beat Cleveland for the ninth consecutive time. Barely.
Cleveland opened a 21-6 lead in the first half with the help of Cribbs' 90-yard kickoff return that led to one of Anderson's three touchdown passes before halftime.
After Roethlisberger's long scramble put the Steelers in the lead for the first time early in the fourth quarter, Cribbs fumbled a kickoff inside his own 5. He picked it up mostly out of desperation and somehow wedged his way down Pittsburgh's sideline for a 100-yard scoring return and an improbable 28-24 lead.
But Roethlisberger, who had run for only 86 yards all season before gaining 49 yards on three runs, led a decisive 78-yard scoring drive. It lasted 8 minutes and was kept going by his 10-yard run to the 2 on third-and-9. He then found Miller for his second touchdown pass, giving Roethlisberger a career-high 22 scoring passes with seven games to play.
Phil Dawson could have tied it, but he missed a 52-yard field goal attempt after the snap was high with 6 seconds remaining.
The Browns were trying for their first four-game winning streak since 1994, also the last time they had a winning record when they played rival Pittsburgh past midseason.
Despite allowing more points than any NFL team, the Browns accomplished their turnaround with a big-play offense led by Anderson (16-of-35, 123 yards), who replaced Charlie Frye during their season-opening 34-7 loss at home to Pittsburgh.
The Steelers, playing six days after their 38-7 Monday night rout of Baltimore, quickly fell into a bad habit: trading field goals for touchdowns. They settled for three Jeff Reed field goals in the first half and fell behind 21-9.
Anderson stood up to Pittsburgh's blitz in the first half. On Cleveland's first possession, he converted four times on third downs on a 16-play drive capped by a 4-yard scoring pass to Kellen
Winslow on Cleveland's opening possession.
Anderson also took advantage of Cribbs' 90-yard kickoff return to hit Lawrence Vickers on a 2-yard scoring pass. Brodney Pool's interception of Roethlisberger led to Anderson's 16-yard scoring pass to Braylon Edwards along the right sideline.
The Browns should have known no lead against Pittsburgh is comfortable, given their nine consecutive losses to the Steelers and 15 losses in 16 games counting a January 2003 wild-card playoff game.
No lead is safe, either, with a Cleveland defense that has allowed six of nine opponents to score 30 or more points.
Anderson, so effective throwing downfield in the first half, couldn't generate a single first down in the second half until 49 seconds remaining in the game.
Jamal Lewis' fumble at the Browns' 38 led to Roethlisberger's 12-yard scoring pass to Ward midway through the third that made it 21-16. Roethlisberger (23-of-34, 278 yards) put the Steelers into the lead, scrambling for the 30-yard touchdown run on a third-and-10 when a Browns blitz left the entire left side of the field open for him.
Willie Parker, who ran for a club record 223 yards against Cleveland last season, finished with 105 yards on 25 carries, the seventh running back to gain more than 100 against the Browns.

Charles Dickens, your right!

2007-10-22T05:56:00.000-07:00

Charles Dickens quote - It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it ws the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of ... well youget the point. I have heard many times that I should reflect upon my present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on my past misfortunes of which all men have some so I should not feel to bad.

Picking myself up.....well, thats the idea anyway.I am still feeling quite weepy and depressed lately but I am trying to pick myself up....I know I gotta. I went grocery shopping yesterday and although I didn't stock up on everything I meant to stock up with......DOH! I did get most of the things. it's just been an inexplicably bad month i promise to have a more cherrier post later.

Millions for Iraq but not a penny for the youth of this NATION

2007-10-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON President Bush vetoed a bipartisan bill expanding a popular children's health insurance program Wednesday, setting up an override battle with Congress.It was only the fourth veto of Mr. Bush's presidency, and one that some Republicans feared could carry steep risks for their party in next year's elections. The Senate approved the bill with enough votes to override the veto, but the margin in the House fell short of the required number.Democrats unleashed a stream of harsh rhetoric, as they geared up for a battle to both improve their chances of winning a veto override and score political points against Republicans who oppose the expansion.Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid decried Mr. Bush's action as a "heartless veto.""Never has it been clearer how detached President Bush is from the priorities of the American people," Reid, D-Nev., said in a statement. "By vetoing a bipartisan bill to renew the successful Children's Health Insurance Program, President Bush is denying health care to millions of low-income kids in America."

And so I updated my blog

2007-10-02T13:54:00.000-07:00

I read Brian blog and found it interesting and so I blogged today in dedication to Brian, here are some general thoughts... I must admit I also still like reading About Sara and Kaz and the new girl on the block its me. I wonder what her name is? Apart from Its me?!

General ramblings and things, The Arena Football game for the xbox is amazing. I'm loving the fast-paced gameplay. It almost makes me want to watch an actual game on TV - almost.
Got the annual SI swimsuit issue in the mail. (not exactly it is in the name of the last rentor I just can't let it go back) Remember when these models were hot? I don't. Comparing SI's annual issue to any issue of Maxim is like comparing your hot girlfriend to her mother. You might sleep with Mom if given the chance, but you'd rather sleep with the hot girlfriend.I've got the SI swimsuit issue sitting next to the new Maxim. I might check it out, then again I might not but I probably will. In the time it took me to bring in the Maxim from the mailbox, I memorized the name of every model featured in the issue. (Just kidding, then again perhaps not) The SI mag? Umm. Lots of blondes on a beach with sand in their hair, just like last year, and the year before that... but they are very lovely!

My Steelers finally won the Superbowl (in 2005) after so many years of disappointment. I should be torching cars and throwing garbage cans through store windows. But I just can't get that fired up this season especially after Ben threw a interception last game for their first lost in 2007). I'm happy, but not "destroy-my-neighborhood" happy.

I'm really enjoying the TV show "Lost" the reruns that is so don't tell me how it ends. But so help me God, they'd better be going somewhere with this plot. If the series finale is "It was all a bad dream" I'll torch cars and throw garbage cans through shop windows.

Even though someday I will be married, I STILL hate Valentine's Day. Feel like burning a Hallmark card in effigy.

The Steelers and victory

2007-09-26T14:32:00.000-07:00

The face-off between the Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals is approaching and quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is also getting ready for the showdown.“Our defense should know a little bit about what their offense is about,” says Roethlisberger, “hopefully, their not too familiar with us. I feel that offensively we are a different team than we were last year.”Some are saying this game could get ‘personal.’ That’s because former Steelers' offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt and former Steelers' assistant head coach Russ Grimm will be on the sidelines coaching the Cardinals.“To me, it’s another game. There’s a lot of guys that are probably looking at that more than anything, but to me it’s just another game.”Roethlisberger says defensively the Cardinals are very good.“They’re a very good team especially on defense and on offense they have a lot of weapons. Obviously, we’re going out without one of our best wide receivers. I think the biggest thing is we have to take care of business.”Currently, Ward is listed as doubtful for Sunday’s game at Arizona because of a sprained knee.But Roethlisberger adds that at 3-0 the Steelers are doing well, and he’s going into this game as if he’s looking for the team’s first win of the season.“We’re pretty good on offense, we’re pretty good on defense, and the special teams are doing well. We believe in the system,” he adds. “I think the head coach is letting the coordinators coordinate, and I think all the players believe in that. The coordinators are doing a good job of getting us ready. It’s all kind of paying off.”

My first teaching job, sort of anyway

2007-09-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

Hi, I also am starting a new position, its part time and twice a week so I am not giving up the day job at the bank. I am a volunteer for a local nonprofit teaching english, yes english to new arrivals to the USA and also refugees to the USA. Can you beleieve it? It does not pay but I am doing it part time for the experience and in time I hope - (after the new year) to land a paying job at a local business/tech school. I was busy earlier downloading syllabus and ideas from the Internet. Just Google what you want and you'll find tons of stuff. They have "Ice breaker" ideas, first day ideas, tips for writing your syllabus, teaching methods etc. It's almost information overload. I had to lie down on the sofa and not think for an afternoon, after I was inundated with so much information for the English Comp class I will be teaching. Plan to use videos, overheads, small group sessions, lecture - in other words change what you are doing about every 15 minutes and change what you are teaching every 30 minutes. Teach writing, then switch to grammar, than switch to memos or letters or emails or read short stories and discuss how to write about them. Make this idea fit whatever topic you are teaching and keep things moving.

Oh by the way I am really concerned about my up coming presentations to teach english. Wish me luck!

9/11/07

2007-09-11T13:20:00.000-07:00

The September 11, 2001 attacks (often referred to as 9/11—pronounced "nine eleven") consisted of a series of coordinated terrorist [2] suicide attacks by Islamic extremists on that date upon the United States of America.

That morning nineteen terrorists [3] affiliated with al-Qaeda [4] hijacked four commercial passenger jet airliners. Each team of hijackers included a trained pilot. The hijackers intentionally crashed two of the airliners (United Airlines Flight 175 and American Airlines Flight 11) into the World Trade Center in New York City, one plane into each tower (1 WTC and 2 WTC), resulting in the collapse of both buildings soon afterward and irreparable damage to nearby buildings. The hijackers crashed a third airliner (American Airlines Flight 77) into the Pentagon in Arlington County, Virginia, near Washington, D.C. Passengers and members of the flight crew on the fourth aircraft (United Airlines Flight 93) attempted to retake control of their plane from the hijackers;[5] that plane crashed into a field near the town of Shanksville in rural Somerset County, Pennsylvania. In addition to the 19 hijackers, 2,974 people died as an immediate result of the attacks, and the death of at least one person from lung disease was ruled by a medical examiner to be a result of exposure to WTC dust.[6] Another 24 people are missing and presumed dead. The victims were predominantly civilians.

The attacks
A sequential look at United Flight 175 crashing into the south tower of the World Trade Center
Four commercial airliners were hijacked en route to California from Logan International, Dulles International, and Newark airports. Each of the airliners had a jet fuel capacity of nearly 24,000 U.S. gallons (91,000 liters).[7] Two of the airliners were flown into the World Trade Center, one each into the North and South towers, one was flown into the Pentagon, and the fourth crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

American Airlines Flight 11, a Boeing 767-200 [8] wide-body aircraft, crashed into the northern side of the North Tower of the World Trade Center (WTC) at 8:46:30 a.m. local time (Eastern Daylight Time, 12:46:30 UTC), hitting at the 94-98th floors.[9]
United Airlines Flight 175, a Boeing 767-200,[10] crashed into the 78-84th floors of the South Tower at 9:02:59 a.m. local time (13:02:59 UTC), an event covered live by television broadcasters and amateur filmers from around the world who had their cameras trained on the buildings after the earlier crash.[11]

American Airlines Flight 77, a Boeing 757-200,[12] crashed into the Pentagon at 9:37:46 a.m. local time (13:37:46 UTC).

United Airlines Flight 93, a Boeing 757-200,[13] crashed in a field in southwest Pennsylvania just outside of Shanksville, about 150 miles (240 km) northwest of Washington, D.C., at 10:03:11 a.m. local time (14:03:11 UTC). The crash in Pennsylvania resulted from the passengers of the airliner attempting to regain control from the hijackers.[14]

Three buildings in the World Trade Center Complex collapsed due to structural failure on the day of the attack. The south tower (2 WTC) fell at approximately 9:59 a.m., after burning for 56 minutes in a fire caused by the impact of United Airlines Flight 175, and the north tower (1 WTC) collapsed at 10:28 a.m., after burning for approximately 102 minutes. A third building, 7 World Trade Center (7 WTC) collapsed at 5:20 p.m., after being heavily damaged by debris from the Twin Towers when they fell.[15][16]

During the hijacking some passengers and crew members were able to make phone calls using the cabin GTE airphone service.[17][18] They reported that several hijackers were aboard each plane.

The terrorists reportedly took control of the aircraft by using knives and box-cutter knives to kill flight attendants and at least one pilot or passenger, including the captain of Flight 11, John Ogonowski.[19]

Some form of noxious chemical spray, such as tear gas or pepper spray, was reported to have been used on American 11 and United 175 to keep passengers out of the first-class cabin.[20] Bomb threats were made on three of the aircraft, but not on American 77. According to the 9/11 Commission Report, the bombs were probably fake. The 9/11 Commission established that two of the hijackers had recently purchased Leatherman multi-function hand tools.

On United Airlines Flight 93, black box recordings revealed that crew and passengers attempted to seize control of the plane from the hijackers after learning through phone calls that similarly hijacked planes had been crashed into buildings that morning. According to the transcript of Flight 93's recorder, one of the hijackers gave the order to roll the plane once it became evident that they would lose control of the plane to the passengers. Soon afterward, the aircraft crashed into a field near Shanksville in Stonycreek Township, Somerset County, Pennsylvania, at 10:03:11 a.m. local time (14:03:11 UTC). Al-Qaeda leader Khalid Shaikh Mohammed mentioned in a 2002 interview with an Al Jazeera journalist that Flight 93's target was the United States Capitol,[1] which was given the code name "the Faculty of Law."[21]
The attacks created widespread confusion across the United States. All international civilian air traffic was banned from landing on US soil for three days; aircraft already in flight were either turned back or redirected to airports in Canada or Mexico. Unconfirmed and often contradictory reports were aired and published throughout the day. One of the most prevalent of these reported that a car bomb had been detonated at the U.S. State Department's headquarters, the Truman Building in Foggy Bottom, Washington, D.C. This erroneous report, picked up by the wire services, was reported on CNN and in a number of newspapers published that day. Soon after reporting for the first time on the Pentagon crash, CNN and other media also briefly reported that a fire had broken out on the Washington Mall. Another report went out on the AP wire, claiming that a Delta 767—Flight 1989—had been hijacked. This report, too, turned out to be in error; the plane was briefly thought to represent a hijack risk, but it responded to controllers and landed safely in Cleveland, Ohio.[22]

The Emergency Alert System was never activated in the terrorist attacks.[23]

Fatalities
There were 2,974 fatalities, not including the 19 hijackers: 246 on the four planes (no one on board any of the hijacked aircraft survived),[24] 2,603 in New York City in the towers and on the ground, and 125 at the Pentagon.[25] Among the fatalities were 341 New York City Fire Department firefighters, 2 New York City Fire Department paramedics, 6 private ambulance personnel, 23 New York City Police Department officers, and 37 Port Authority Police Department officers.[26] Lieutenant General Timothy Maude was the highest ranking person killed at the Pentagon [27] and John P. O'Neill was a former assistant director of the FBI who assisted in the capture of Ramzi Yousef and was the head of security at the World Trade Center when he was killed trying to rescue people from the South Tower.[28] An additional 24 people remain listed as missing.[29]

World Trade Center
Collection of photographs of those killed (excluding 92 victims) during the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. Prosecution exhibit from the trial of Zacarias Moussaoui.
1366 people died who were at or above the floors of impact in the North Tower (1 WTC). According to the Commission Report, hundreds were killed instantly by the impact while the rest were trapped and died after the tower collapsed.[30]

As many as 600 people were killed instantly or trapped at or above the floors of impact in the South Tower (2 WTC). Only about 18 managed to escape in time from above the impact zone and out of the South Tower before it collapsed.

At least 200 people jumped to their deaths from the burning towers (as depicted in the photograph "The Falling Man"), landing on the streets and rooftops of adjacent buildings hundreds of feet below.[31] To witnesses watching, a few of the people falling from the towers seemed to have stumbled out of broken windows.[32] Some of the occupants of each tower above its point of impact made their way upward toward the roof in hope of helicopter rescue, however; no rescue plan existed for such an eventuality, the roof access doors were locked and thick smoke and intense heat would have prevented rescue helicopters from landing.[33]
Cantor Fitzgerald L.P., an investment bank on the 101st–105th floors of One World Trade Center, lost 658 employees, considerably more than any other employer. Marsh Inc., located immediately below Cantor Fitzgerald on floors 93–101 (the location of Flight 11's impact), lost 295 employees, including one on Flight 175. Additionally, Marsh lost 38 consultants. Approximately 400 rescue workers, most of them of the FDNY, died when the towers collapsed.
According to the Associated Press, the city identified over 1,600 bodies but was unable to identify the rest (about 1,100 people). They report that the city has "about 10,000 unidentified bone and tissue fragments that cannot be matched to the list of the dead."[34] Bone fragments were still being found in 2006 as workers prepared the damaged Deutsche Bank Building for demolition. The average age of all the dead in New York City was 40.[35]

Fatalities (excluding hijackers)
New York City
World Trade Center
2,603 died and another 24 remain listed as missing[36][29]
American 11
88[37]
United 175
59[38]
Arlington
Pentagon
125[39]
American 77
59[40]
Shanksville
United 93
40[41]
Total
2,974 died and another 24 remain listed as missing.
The dead included 8 children: 5 on American 77 ranging in age from 3 to 11, 3 on United 175 ages 2, 3, and 4.[42] The youngest victim was a 2 year-old child on Flight 175, the oldest an 82 year-old passenger on Flight 11. In the buildings, the youngest victim was 17 and the oldest was 79.[43]

In the suburbs around New York City many schools closed for the day, evacuated, or were locked down. Other school districts shielded students from watching television because many of their parents held jobs in the World Trade Center towers. In New Jersey and Connecticut, private schools were evacuated. Children in schools of Maryland, those nearest to DC, were sent home. Scarsdale, New York, schools closed for the day. Greenwich, Connecticut, about 20 miles (32 km) north of the city, had hundreds of school children with direct ties to victims of the attacks. Greenwich and nearby New Canaan, two of the wealthiest towns in the area along with neighboring Darien, had more residents killed, as a percentage of total population, than any other Connecticut town. After New York, New Jersey was the hardest hit state, with the town of Hoboken sustaining the most fatalities.[35] All of the fatalities were civilians except some of the 125 victims in the Pentagon.[44]

Damage
The aerial view of the destroyed World Trade Center taken on September 23, 2001.
In addition to the 110-floor Twin Towers of the World Trade Center itself, numerous other buildings at the World Trade Center site were destroyed or badly damaged, including 7 World Trade Center, 6 World Trade Center, 5 World Trade Center, 4 World Trade Center, the Marriott World Trade Center and St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church.[45] The Deutsche Bank Building across Liberty Street from the World Trade Center complex was later condemned due to the uninhabitable, toxic conditions inside the office tower,[46] with deconstruction once scheduled for completion in September 2007.[47] The Borough of Manhattan Community College's Fiterman Hall at 30 West Broadway was also condemned due to extensive damage in the attacks, and is slated for deconstruction.[48] Other neighboring buildings including 90 West Street and the Verizon Building suffered major damage, but have since been restored. World Financial Center buildings, One Liberty Plaza, the Millenium Hilton, and 90 Church Street had moderate damage.[49] Communications equipment, such as broadcast radio, television and two-way radio antenna towers, were damaged beyond repair. In Arlington County, a portion of the Pentagon was severely damaged by fire and one section of the building collapsed.[50]

Sunday football

2007-09-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

Pittsburgh Steelers Fans All Smiles Following Big Win on Sunday against the Cleveland Browns or as we like to say the Mistake by the Lake Browns! Now that the Steelers and new head coach Mike Tomlin have their first win under their belts, how do Steelers fans feel? The finall scopre was 34 to 7. Among the highlights of the game: Ben Roethlisberger threw no interceptions and the Steelers defense had six sacks and forced five turnovers against the Browns. And Roethlisberger looked better than last year. And overall we smashed them. Roethlisberger came out and did what he was supposed to do.

Facts

2007-09-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

Started drinking miller lite when I was about - well about five years ago
So let’s figure from birdthday to birthday… And if we just go with an average of 30 days a month, 2880 days.
Since five years I have been drinking ATLEAST 6 12oz. draft sometimes the bottles a day. So that brings the total number of days down to 2817. While living with the roommate I didn’t have any except on friday and saturdays, and that was about 4 years. So now we are at 2697 days. And for good measure, let’s take 200 days away, for days I was sick, in route somewhere, or just plain didn’t have any. Keep in mind that this is based on averages. There were somedays I would drink more, and somedays that I would drink less, and I’m sured I missed a day or two when I didn’t have any at all. So, we have 2497 days of Drinking…

That would be:14982
12oz.4994
20oz. Bottles
279664 Total
oz.2184 .875 Gallons

If I saved all the bottles and cans and got the $0.05 deposit on them, I would have $998.80
I have drank enough miller lite to fill some nice sized swimming pools… Now try to tell me I shouldn’t be the new Miller Lite Spokesman…

A beautiful thought

2007-09-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. When the door of happiness closes, another one opens, but oftentimes we look so long at the closed door we don't see the one which has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the one you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart, and if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. It only takes a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because all it takes is a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. There are moments in life when you miss someone so much you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, and be what you want to be, because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in others shoes. If it hurts you, chances are it probably hurts them too. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The birghtest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone else around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone else is crying.

At the movies

2007-08-30T14:22:00.000-07:00

The problem with Hollywood these days isn't that every producer makes a pitch that references at least two other movies (e.g., "It's like The Flintstones meets Jurassic Park but..are you ready for this?...we throw in a touch of Mad Max by setting it in the post-apocalyptic future!") but that they don't rely heavily enough on the movies they reference. If they've already sold the idea, why re-create the proverbial wheel? Why not just take a couple of movies and combine their scripts to create something new? That, my friends, sounds to me like a recipe for success. In fact, I've only been thinking about this for about ten minutes or so and I've already come up with two sure-fire blockbusters.

Movie 1: Dead Again
Movie 2: The Bourne Identity

New Movie: The Bourne Again
Synopsis: In 1949 composer Roman Strauss is executed for the vicious murder of his wife Margaret with a pair of scissors. In modern day Los Angeles a mute amnesiac woman shows up at an orphanage and an amnesiac man who was found adrift in the sea - and who is attempting to discover his own identity - is called in to investigate. The investigation is complicated by the fact that the man, who is proficient in multiple languages, espionage, and martial arts, is being pursued by his former employers at the CIA. Under hypnosis it is revealed that both the man and the woman seem to have a strange and mysterious link back to the Strauss murder.

Movie 1: Shakespeare in Love
Movie 2: Snakes on a Plane

New Movie: Shakespeare on a Plane
Synopsis: A romantic comedy/thriller in which young playwright who is struggling with his latest work "Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter" decides to take a vacation to help relieve his writer’s block. During the flight, he meets his muse in the form of a flight attendant named Viola. Their budding love story is cut short when they join forces with an FBI agent to defend the passengers from deadly and poisonous snakes that have been deliberately released in an attempt to kill a witness who is being flown from Elizabethan London to modern-day Los Angeles so that he can testify against a mob boss.See? It's easy. Feel free to share your ideas in the comments section. I promise to include them in my next pitch and to make you to know as it appears.

Stupidly busy week, fun weekend

2007-08-28T13:33:00.001-07:00

You may have noticed my lack of blogging recently, and in fact my distinct lack of online activity. This has been due almost entirely to the amount of hours I have been putting into work I got assigned to work along with a few others on the conversion project. (Shhhh we are converting another bank over to our side) The bank keeps me busy! It is a good busy not a bad busy like taking endless call after call about why the powers-that-be shut their account off! I’ve had a few tight deadlines lately for some of the project milestones and with the lending officer away on holiday or some stupid stuff. I have been entirely responsible for the direction of everything this last week. I’m very glad I took on the extra tasks though, my work with conversion group has been stimulating and enjoyable, and its great to be so deep into a project so soon, even if it has been a steep learning curve.

When the weekend came around through it was time to really put the busy week behind me and we held another big party on the Friday. What happen was this I joined a club and our first new member happy hour was down in Margarita Mamas in Station square, afterwards we walked over to watch the outdoor concerts. Amazingly the weather afforded us a dry evening if not a bit humid for the concert and BBQ which extended into a warm dry night where the beer flowed freely and the music played loudly. Although a little more rowdy than our last party (due mainly to the attendance of a large proportion of the university rock society) it was great fun. I’d also invited Tonya and friend but she could not come this time. I was sad about that, but the chance to make a few new friends was well worth it!

As the saying goes; work hard, play hard. I certainly managed it last week!

Am I Blogging Under the Influence

2007-08-24T13:41:00.000-07:00

I was zigging and zagging my way to work when I saw a rat. It was about fifteen feet away, hulking around beneath a street lamp. I don't know what it was doing. Rats kind of have their own agenda, and they have yet to bring us humans into the fold. One can only hope that the day is nigh when we'll know what the little bastards are up to. Anyway, as I got closer, I realized that it was just a baby rat. It wasn't a gigantic rat. It looked like it might have been the kind of rat that you'd attempt to feed by placing a little bit of cheese between your teeth and letting it walk up to take it directly from your lips. The only thing stopping you, of course, is the Black Plague. If that weren't the case, then I think more people would be feeding cute baby rats in this fashion.

Once I was really close, though, everything changed. I got a good close look at it and it dawned on me that, for a rat, it sure had a whole lot of unnecessary exoskeleton. The feelers also seemed a bit out of place.

Come to think of it, the six legs weren't exactly very rattish, either. It's like I wasn't even looking at a rat.

That's when my brain connected all the dots. I may be a bit of a stupid jack-ass, but you don't have to be the Crocodile Hunter to have figured out that this thing wasn't a rat at all, but rather a rat-size cockroach.

As I stood there, mouth agape, reeling in horror as I watched the hideous beast "taste" the air with its wretched, seeking antennae, it walked right up to a nice couple about twenty feet away, took one quick glance around, and mugged them.

I screamed like a ten year old girl and ran across the street to my building, bolting through the lobby, and making it up to the 2nd floor office as quickly as possible.

I'm sitting here now, can of RAID within reach, trying to make sense of what I've seen.
They don't make bugs like that in Pittsburgh - They just don't!

Do you live life as an Epic?

2007-08-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

There was a most interesting sermon given at church on Saturday night, yes I attend church Saturday night. Listen to the sermon and answer the question, do you live your life as an page turning epic? To quote the pastor, "In those quiet, reflective moments of life, have you ever heard that voice from inside whisper; “Something is missing. There must be more to life than this.” He further goes on to say, "Each of us is called to live a life of epic proportions. To live life to the fullest. To not give up when things seem impossible. To make a difference."

Murphy's Law

2007-08-20T03:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had an encounter with Murphy’s Law again. Murphy’s Law states that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst time possible. My experience with Murphy has prompted me to develop a strategy for keeping him from messing me up ever again. Here’s my three-pronged strategy for dealing with Murphy whenever he shows up. I call it the ABC’s of dealing with Murphy:

1. Anticipate what might go wrong
Whenever Murphy strikes I rarely am ready to deal with the situation. I may have prepared for the tasks but I am hardly ever ready for the detours. My game plan should be to anticipate what might go wrong so that when it does go wrong, I can deal effectively with it.

2. Bring yourself to a state of calmness
Murphy has a tendency of leaving me in a panic because of the element of surprise. I need to consciously make the choice of staying calm. Getting frustrated or angry about the situation never helps it only makes it worse. Being in a state of calmness will allow me to think clearly and resolve the situation = a little postive thinking.

3. Create systems that allow for success
Success in any endeavor is all about having the right systems. Taking a look at the systems around me, outside of the bars. Everything around me should be geared towards bringing me and you success in our endeavors.

And finally if the steps fail to ahieve the desired result shoot Murphy.

An bachelor's life and managin the money

2007-08-17T13:24:00.000-07:00

An bachelor life
As an young professional I am still living the swinging bachelor life, and because of that a disproportionate amount of time is spent on my career or I should say careers, and I have not have had the time to find my soulmate . For those who are in relationships, these are often void of any deep meaning since a full commitment can never be made, and questions often arise about if the person they are currently seeing is the one. I recently went online, again and I may have some interesting posts to add to my blog. Oh yes, some interesting posts but then again I am not going to kiss and tell, or email and tell until I have something worth telling if you catch my drift? The problem with meeting women at this stage of my life is that it is much more difficult to discern if their interest is driven by my remarkable personality, or the thickness of my wallet. The are times when temptation arises to settle down with either the first woman I meet, or the most beautiful woman I meet that happens to give me the time. I have not given up and like I mentioned earlier things on that front might start warming up…

Managin the money
What I should do with my money is another problem that I am confronted with. Should I save for the future or enjoy the money now, rewarding myself for all that hard work with expensive new car (which is, by the way, the number one gift a young millionaire buys himself). Not that I am an millionaire, so I guess I will be content with my sporty little Saturn ION Quad coupe. You know I have gotten many complaints about that newer Saturn. Anyway I know that often, excessive and freewheeling spending leads to my small fortune evaporating more quickly than the time it took to make it. Issues such as investing, retirement plans, and tax planning are put on the backburner. With the focus solely on the present, future plans are usually forgotten in my life. Oh well that is life, I guess.

A professional mistake

2007-08-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

Your alarm rings, signalling another brand new day. You get up, looking forward for another new day of challenge, another new day to learn. After washing up, you put on your office outfit, giving you that professional look, one that you believe many out there envy. Breakfast follows (perhaps), and you head off to your office. You’re one of the earliest to arrive, ahead of all your superior and when they come in later, they greet you and you feel all charged up for another productive day. Plenty to do and learn and hence, you are prepared to stay back late to do all that is necessary.If you’re currently doing a degree in finance, accounting or law, the above is probably what you’ve been waiting for all these years. You work your ass off (well… most of you) in university because it’s your dream to join one of those big glamorous firms out there in the market. Lawyers and accountants are the usual suspects for this curse. Once graduated, all of them will run like headless chicken towards those big firms. If you’re an accounting student… you want to be an auditor in one of the Big-4 right?Well, if you do make it, it’s like a dream come true. In such firms, you get a personal computer, maybe a notebook (wow!). All your stationeries are free, and it’s also the first time you step into a ‘pantry’, where you can make your own coffee, just like those nice offices in TVB series. Next, you get an exclusive e-mail, the domain after your name is not the ordinary @gmail.com or @hotmail.com or @yahoo.com… No, it’s not, it’s your-name@a-big-and-glamorous-firm.com. You can’t wait to tell that to your friend.Then comes the feeling of giving a business card with your name on it, and it’s not any other business card, it’s one with your name on it, it’s one that signifies you’re an employee with a-big-and-glamorous-firm. And… the word below your name is not a lowly “accounts executive”… the word below your name is exclusive… the word below your name is… “Associate”. And when your friend gives you the “Wow, you’re an associate with this firm?”… you get into instant orgasm.

3 or 6 months into your job, you will then be experiencing the euphoria of saying… I-am-very-busy… I-have-a-lot-work… I-worked-till-very-late-last-night… I-can't-make-it-for-the-gathering-cos-I-have-to-work-this-weekend. Yeah, it’s an euphoria because to you, it’s a privilege to be busy, it’s very cool to work late, you’re very proud to work in during weekends. When you utter such words, a sense of arrogance and pride radiates from you. You feel great because working so hard means you learnt a lot of things, those not in the professional industry somehow looks lowly to you. You feel big, you feel you’re a level smarter than them . Reality will tend to sink in within 2 years or so, though the duration seems to be getting shorter and shorter now with the younger generation.First, you will probably ask yourself, how come a graduate like you must do all sorts of donkey jobs such as photocopying, checking invoices, going through pile and pile of documents and filing. You will also be wondering how come your superior whom you once looked up to have to suck up to clients. Oh yeah… most all clients are unreasonable.

If you’re an accountant, you will probably realise that there is no such thing called a ‘balance’ sheet. It’s balanced because you did the balancing act so that your big boss can sign on it and certify it as ‘true and fair’. Yeah… signing on accounts, the job that you once dreamed of… isn’t exactly all a bed of roses. You then realise that you will probably never reach that “just-need-to-sign-only stage” but hey… it’s ok, you probably hate that job by now. When you tell your client something, chances are you are just as blur and confuse as them. But you have to act as though you’re an expert because you’re the con-sul-tant. This is just a glimpse of it.Now, all the late nights and irregular meals will probably caused you to age 8 years in 2 years. Those I-am-very-busy… I-have-a-lot-work… I-worked-till-very-late-last-night… I-can't-make-it-for-the-gathering-cos-I-have-to-work-this-weekend will take its toll on your body and it will show. You will probably look very skinny… or very far… you will certainly look old and worn out. Working late and spending weekends in the office is no longer a cool thing but absolute stupidity. But hey… you will still have to do it, because there’s still much work to be done.

By now, all your friends who ended up as salesmen or doing other thing except being a professional, those whom you felt superior to are driving anything but a proton. But for you, it’s time to think whether you should buy a proton cause your perodua is beginning to give you problem. Of course, if your father is well-connected fella, things can be different. But if you’re not, tough luck. You’ll be wondering how come you’re generally under-paid. Those exposure and learning curve that you once craved are no longer relevant. You want to make more money. But unless you’re a partner of the glamorous firm, money can be a lil tough to come by.At this point of time, probably after 3, 4 or 5 years, you finally realised that document you signed when you first joined the glamorous firm was nothing but lies. Then, you decide to ply your trade in the commercial world, you leave those glamorous firm. You think joining a commercial firm will bring about a good change, not knowing that such move means you switched from being a ‘profit centre’ to a ‘cost centre’. One of the main effect of the switch is that you will be working doubly hard compared to the profit centre, which probably includes a lot of late nights too… but your salary and bonus is much lower compared to profit centre. What does this mean… a story for another time.One thing for sure… your morning will now be something like…Your alarm rings, signalling another day… another weekday. You get up, after snoozing the alarm a million and one times. You hope today is Friday, but it’s not, and you feel like shit. You think of a million and one reasons to take MC, but you realised you have to go to office because you failed to finish the report due today though you stayed till 10pm last night. You tell yourself you need to change job, just like how you have been telling yourself in the last 1 year. Once in office, you’re in a dilemma cause you want time to go slower so that you can finish your work but yet, you want time to go faster so that you can leave the office and go for lunch.During lunch, you will bitch with your colleagues about work and probably the bosses. You will all talk about so many people who seem to be doing so well except for you. You realised you should have done something else while in university. You realised you may have made a mistake in life… a mistake in being a professional… you have made… a professional mistake.

The Packers take the Steelers 13 to 9

2007-08-13T03:44:00.000-07:00

Neither Roethlisberger nor Favre did much as the Packers' and Steelers' offensive starters were shut out in little less than a quarter's playing time, with backup QB for the packers throwing a touchdown pass and leading two other scoring drives in Green Bay's 13-9 exhibition victory Saturday night. Tomlin found out why the preseason can be so unpredictable as his starting offense, which has been ahead of the defense so far in camp, lost a fumble and punted on its only two possessions. The Steelers' special teams weren't much better as Green Bay's Michael Montgomery overpowered snapper Greg Warren to block Jeff Reed's extra point after Pittsburgh's only touchdown and a 45-yard Cedrick Wilson punt return was called back for holding. It's gonna be a long season...

general ramblings this morning

2007-08-10T03:54:00.000-07:00

Just general ramblings this morning nothing much to discuss... work is going fine. It may not be my ideal job but it sure does beat taking collection calls! The funny thing is the bank i work for takes more of an active interest in how I feel about my job compared to were I came from. They will spend money, company money to improve employee attitude about the company. That is new to me because my last employer did not give a crap about it's employees and the the employees gave only what they had to and nothing more. My attitude towards work has changed, I am more willing to give that 100% to the bank compared to how I felt when I worked for FedEx. In general I like being an banker and for once I in my life I feel that I have a career not just a job.

Steelers Win 1st Pre-Season Game 20-7 Over Saints

2007-08-07T03:36:00.000-07:00

There was moments before Mike Tomlin's debut as Steelers coach, wind-blown rain was pelting the field. Suddenly, the skies cleared, the rain ceased and the stands filled. Less than three minutes into the game, the Steelers made it feel like a warm, sunny summer afternoon for the man replacing the retired Bill Cowher. A dominant first half made Tomlin a winner, 20-7 over the New Orleans Saints on Sunday night in the preseason opener. It was indeed a good game but it is just the preseason can they do it come the regular season? We can only hope!

General thought

2007-08-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

I can not deny it but I have always been intrigued by Buddhism. It’s perhaps the one religion where there has been no wars fought to extend it’s influence but that is beside the point. One of the many things that I have found interesting about it is the law of karma. According to that movie as well as the teaching Karma by the buddhists is the law of moral causation. The theory of Karma is a basic fundamental doctrine in Buddhism. This belief was prevalent in India before the advent of the Buddha. Nevertheless, it was the Buddha who explained and formulated this doctrine in the complete form in which we have it today.

1. What is the cause of the inequality that exists among mankind?
2. Why should one person be brought up in the lap of luxury, endowed with fine mental, moral 3. and physical qualities, and another in absolute poverty, steeped in misery?
4. Why should one person be a mental prodigy, and another an idiot?
Why should one person be born with saintly characteristics and another with criminal tendencies?
5. Why should some be linguistic, artistic, mathematically inclined, or musical from the very cradle?
6. Why should others be congenitally blind, deaf, or deformed?
7. Why should some be blessed, and others cursed from their births?

Either this inequality of mankind has a cause, or it is purely accidental. No sensible person would think of attributing this unevenness, this inequality, and this diversity to blind chance or pure accident.

In this world nothing happens to a person that he does not for some reason or other deserve. Usually, men of ordinary intellect cannot comprehend the actual reason or reasons. The definite invisible cause or causes of the visible effect is not necessarily confined to the present life, they may be traced to a proximate or remote past birth.

According to Buddhism, this inequality is due not only to heredity, environment, "nature and nurture", but also to Karma. In other words, it is the result of our own past actions and our own present doings. We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We create our own Heaven. We create our own Hell. We are the architects of our own fate.

Perplexed by the seemingly inexplicable, apparent disparity that existed among humanity, a young truth-seeker approached the Buddha and questioned him regarding this intricate problem of inequality:

"What is the cause, what is the reason, O Lord," questioned he, "that we find amongst mankind the short-lived and long-lived, the healthy and the diseased, the ugly and beautiful, those lacking influence and the powerful, the poor and the rich, the low-born and the high-born, and the ignorant and the wise?"
The Buddha’s reply was:

"All living beings have actions (Karma) as their own, their inheritance, their congenital cause, their kinsman, their refuge. It is Karma that differentiates beings into low and high states."
He then explained the cause of such differences in accordance with the law of cause and effect.

And so it begins

2007-07-31T17:57:00.000-07:00

Sunday August 5th is the first preseason game of the Pittsburgh steelers. Yes on that day we take on The New Orleans Saints... should be a good game! So with no further delay a tribute to my hometeam brought to you by youtube.

Hey I remember that night, I was down there! What a awesome night that was!!! If you look on the left of the screen in the beginning you will see Dees Cafe - yes old Dees. I also remember Julia - ah why did she not call me back?!

craziness on Carson part one

Craziness on Carson part two

Expectations, Projections, and Loose Associations

2007-07-31T17:48:00.000-07:00

A wiseman once said, “Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what your gonna get”, simple words to remember. However I prefer life is like a jiggle saw puzzle every piece of the puzzle is but a lesson in life. The pieces are lessons that I have felt urged to absorb in the fabric of life.

Another piece urges me to abandon expectations that anything I say or do will make any difference whatsoever. This means, especially, abandoning expectations that anything I say or do will make the difference that I, in my great, exalted, prescient, and indisputably perfect wisdom, think that it ought to make. I am now quite near the place in which, if anything that I say or do does make a difference, that is fine. If it doesn’t, that also is fine. Whether it does or doesn’t has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what other people hear or experience. That is not my affair, none of my business.

Another piece urges a growing awareness that my mind is a tool that sometimes rests in the hands of an aspect of myself that I’d best keep away from it. Don’t put a hot soldering iron in the hands of a child.

I own one of those minds that make loose associations. That can be fun, and a source of creativity. I can discover how the rain in Spain contains a lesson that ought to be learned by the great unwashed swarming the slums of San Jose. Don’t ask me what that lesson is. I haven’t pursued it. But I’m sure it exists, I’m sure I can find it, and I might even make a book or blog post out of it. This tendency to find lessons everywhere and to make improbable associations often satisfies nothing except my own notion of how clever I can be. Mind in the hands of ego.
Who was it—someone commenting on Freud?—who said that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar? I do need to remember that.

A third piece of my puzzle seems to be special. Do you know how, when you are putting a puzzle together, there is one piece that keeps attracting your attention? Maybe it is bigger than the other pieces. Or maybe it has an unusual shape or color. But you keep noticing it, picking it up, wondering where it goes. Maybe you are sure that if you find where it goes, then the rest of the puzzle will come together magically.

In my puzzle that special piece urges the view that everything I experience (and I do mean everything) is projection. I have lived with that view for periods; lived in Plato’s cave for days or weeks at a time. It is a fine place to live when you know what is going on there. It is free of judgment and blame, and free of victimization. It isn’t damp or cold at all. But I have not taken up permanent residence there, and so I often need to find this piece (and this place) all over again. I pick it up, sense its importance, but then, without being aware of having done so, I put it down and forget where I put it. Then, all of a sudden, there it is right in front of me, asking, pleading, to be picked up again.

These puzzle pieces, and many more, are spread out right in front of me, but since the box that they came in has no picture of the finished puzzle on it, I can’t say what it will look like when it is complete. If it can ever be complete. I keep discovering new pieces, and there seems always to be one piece that I cannot locate.

feeling blue today

2007-07-30T19:23:00.000-07:00

I'm having a bout of depression again I think. Work is not being too much of an effort, aside from my job all else seems to be a disappointment my eating habits are all over the place and I just don't want to talk to anyone. A year ago I would be disappearing into a dees café and having a few bottles right now, so at least I don't have that side of things to worry about. Also a year ago

I had a job search running and it proved interesting. I sometimes hope to see at least one person each time I log on and to match that I think I would like to send a email, and while there wasn't really anything yesterday there is another option today which would mean a bold move on my part - so of course, with the mood I'm in, I'm thinking I'm being under ambitious and won't even be considered. A relationship means quite a bit of responsibility, being in effect, and is quite a change of tack for me, but on the other hand it's basically what do I got to lose, which is largely what I do right now in any case. It would also mean a daily commitment, unless I can find someone I could be interested in and more importantly someone to return that interest, which seems unlikely even in a better state of mind. Still, can't hurt to have a go. I've downloaded the information and will have a read through.

Big brother and Cindy are on holiday with his Mum and stepdad.

I'm reading a lot more at the moment, which is good.

I am my own worst enemy

2007-07-28T22:17:00.000-07:00

I was surprised at the matter-of-factly admission by a close friend, on him being the assailant of another acquaintance. While the "victim" who clarified his actions to cement his innocence, the close friend simply stated how he felt and that the "victim" had it coming, through a common impression formed and from pent-up frustration and anger.Life is complicated enough. If everyone could just be that little bit more tolerant, understanding and abit more in control of their stronger emotions, perhaps this ugly episode could have been mitigated. But then, who am I to comment? I'm just being idealistic I suppose.

I understand the feeling of alienation and of the potential abuse one had coming to him. But I have also been granted a glimpse from a third party’s point of view on how the other person chose to deal with this seething hostility displayed by his compatriots.

Like the eye opener given to me Friday morning, which has made me reflect upon certain aspects of my character, on my good intentions that sometimes comes with a lack of effort to achieve them, resulting in a temporal social disruption and a compromise to the integrity of the bridge of the perception of my being.

Like the reminder of Friday, which made me realize that one thing that perhaps stands in my way towards accomplishing all that which I have always wanted to be and all that which I can become and to become a better person and character – That I am my own worst enemy.

Perhaps this holds true to everyone, that if one starts judging him/herself on a level more critical and brutal than that of society, to be present and keenly aware of his/her actions, thoughts, words and intentions, one would realize that often, the greatest hurdle to establishing our ideal and optimum self would indeed be, ironically, ourselves.

Random morning thought on a Friday

2007-07-27T03:56:00.000-07:00

I was thinking all about the direction or should I say the lack of direction that I allowed myself to fall into lately. My summer's end of 2008 I will complete my master in education and at that point I will be making another transition.

I talked to Connie last night, she called me. Surprise, surprise huh? Anyway she told me everything that has been going on in her life. Originally after graduation she moved back to New York, the way she describe NY the economy for work is worse then here in PA if you can believe it. The companies that are hiring don't want to pay anything either in benefits or salary and most only want you via a temp agency. Needless to say it was a grim for her but she did manage to me a new guy and ... they are both now moving to Maryland. Yes Maryland, just outside Balitmore. Her new man got a great job for a computer company and she is going to follow him there and hopefully find work or in her words "a decent job not a temp job". I wish her the best, that is four people I know that has moved beyond PA borders and found better paying jobs...

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania sucks!

Top Ten Cloves: Reason President Bush Is Now Only "The Decision-Maker" And Not "The Decider"

2007-07-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

10. Hedging his bets on how the Libby Trial winds up
9. No issue - Decision-Maker on Iraq, The Decider on everything else
8. Thought it was time to break out his Civilian Reserve Corps moniker
7. After authorizing U.S. Soldiers to kill Iranians, part of the plan to throw Iran off-balance
6. Only recommendation of the Iraq Study Group he was willing to undertake
5. Just in an "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" mood today
4. Fred Kagan and General Keane said it would help the surge
3. First Lady was going to make him go into rehab if he kept going around, calling himself "The Decider"
2. Pulled the "I'm the Decider" on Cheney, right after the Wolf Blitzer interview and Cheney barked back "You're out of line ... "

And the number one reason is... drum please...

1. Rove worked his "The Math" again and said the change would make my polls numbers go up

Q and A Tuesday

2007-07-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

I have never been a go to guy. It’s not that I am not dependable, it’s just that, well, uh, where was I? Oh yes, I tend to get easily sidetracked. However, with that being said, I do like to answer questions. Am I particularly qualified to answer questions in any given area? No, of course I’m not. Haven’t you been reading my blog? Well, if it’s pop culture related I might be able to shed some light, but really, how often do we need clarification on some obscure pop culture reference, unless of course you are reading my blog.

Where is all of this going? I am going to begin a Q & A Tuesday. Each Tuesday, I will answer your questions on any and all subjects. Will my answers be good? It’s hard to say. Will my answers be accurate? Again, difficult to tell. Will they be well researched and presented in an easily understood way, possibly with charts and graphs? Gheesh, I hope not! Are the answers something that you should repeat to others in order to prove your intelligence to them? I highly suggest you don’t. Should I be a little more positive about this project in the hopes that someone will submit a question to me? Probably.

Yes, it has finally come to this…I guess if I blogged long enough I was eventually going to resort to people providing me questions so that I do not have to be original every single day. I am embarrassed by this development, but I am also looking forward to the give and take that question segments will provide. If there is ever a shortage of questions, then I’ll just answer a question I have overheard in my office. Are you bristling with excitement yet?

So go ahead, ask me whatever you wish. I’ll do my best to answer everything each and every Tuesday. I realize the notice is a little late, but I’m giving you more warning than Tom Cruise gave Nicole Kidman when he divorced her. Well, I think I did. OK, what are you waiting for? You’ll definitely get an answer! What type of answer? Let’s just say it probably won’t be ‘Wiki’ worthy…

Music selections

2007-07-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

I purchased the new Linkin Park cd titled, minutes to midmight. Very good cd by the way. I am looking forwards to Aug 7th because on that day Fuel comes out with a new cd titled "Angels and devils". They are my two favorite bands besides Cake yes I like Cake! I also like Rage against the machine but they have not had a new cd in sometime?!

Anyway updates, not much new I am still working on things... things I do not wish to share at this moment.

I want to live a life free of regrets

2007-07-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

There is no room in my life for regret anymore. ... I want to live a life free of aching regrets. I don't mind regretting the roads I didn't take in the past but I don’t won’t to add to that list of regrets.

I have been walking around every day with a life totally full of regrets. I did a google search for other people’s blogs and I read many stories about regrets, for example there is a 78-year old man thinks about the girl that got away 45 years ago. The gay man wishes that he'd come out to his father while reading the eulogy for his wake. The waitress in a bar across the street from the Met spends every day remembering the day that she quit singing opera.

Every day, I have fetter away life with regret. When I think of the waste of precious moments, tossing them out like candy bar wrappers, while obsessing about mistakes I have made in my life long past.

I can not spend my life like this anymore.

I refuse to spend the majority of days ruminating about things that I have already done nor do I want to obess any more about mistakes that are in my past (and, God knows, they're there).

I can't regret anymore I can afford too! There is no denying the truth that I often do the wrong thing. I have made my share of mistakes. But I can't regret them. I have done what I have done, and my actions, my decisions (the good, the bad, and the ugly) have made me who I am. For better or for worse. No use in saying that if I could change this, that or the other thing I would. Even if I could I probably wouldn't change anything. There is no room in my life for regret anymore.

What brought this on you ask? Good question, I went to the information session today after work and heard what the recruiter had to say and I liked it. I want to take the next step, I want to move forwards but after I left I heard that familiar voice inside me telling me “you can not do that” You won’t make it, you can not leave all you have earned in life. I was setting myself to fail long before I even officially applied. I do that often in life, I did that when I had the opportunity in Florida and even as I write this post I have that inner voice telling me that I am a fool for even considering it. How did I push myself out of the funk I seem to have been pushing myself into? Simple, I told myself that yes I have acquired a few items worthy of note but it’s stuff I can store – it’s stuff that I can replace if need be. My family will always be my family regardless what I chose, my friends to. All that I have will still be mine I am just daring to dream of taking that less then often traveled road. You know that road? As the poem goes, “ I took the Road Less Traveled by," And that has made all the Difference. One thing that I have learned sometimes Choosing the hard and unpopular way can have a more rewarding outcome. Someone once told me, not sure whom. It may have been a teacher life isn’t about the destination it's about the journey to get there?

Roads seem to be fascinating me, whether as metaphors for life, change, journeys, partings, adventure, etc., or simply as roads, with all their implications of 'here' and 'not here', I guess what I mean to say is that the two may not be as separate as one thought.

On the verge of something great...

2007-07-17T16:47:00.000-07:00

I now have 2 days left until I step into something that could be wonderful, something that could give me that long desire feeling that my life had meaning. You may think teaching because I talked enough about it but no it is something else something unique. Forgive me for the lack of detail but for the time being I choose to keep it to myself until know for sure the prospect but also my resolve. It's been a crazy adventure so far. The emotions that I have experienced throughout the process of receiving and accepting my invitation have been overwhelming.

I promise to update everyone on Friday as to what my plan is...

Radical change

2007-07-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

Changing my behavior to achieve better results is the indeed a hard challenge. So maybe I am in a slump. What I am going to do in the next 2 weeks - a.k.a. 14 days are the following items:

1. Join a REAL gym
2. Get my haircut and colored, not conservative but I am a radical change - i am going blond
3. Move

True change requires that a person develop clear reasons why you will not fail yourself and your family or friends. So I know what drives me and therefore I am going to set three goal for me to accmplish with the next two weeks. Afterwards I will set another goal and so on and so forth. The process requires introspection, which you may not be used to, but in order for it to work, you need to take the time to quietly consider every aspect of your life (past, present, and future) and commit it to paper or in my case blogger.

Wisdom from a cookie

2007-07-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

After lunch I cracked open my fortune cookie and it read, "Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or nation." Wise words from a cookie... made me think... July 19th, July 19th is coming up... discontent, restless, ready for an adventure of a life time. I am going to go for it!

The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side

2007-07-12T16:50:00.000-07:00

People are never happy with what they have for me that is especially true

You have curly hair, you want straight.
You have straight hair, you want curly.
Your single, you want a girlfriend or for those ladies a boyfriend.
You have a girlfriend, you want to be single.
And so on and so on...

I have this girl whom I work with. Shes dropped dead-fucking gorgeous,(excuse my french) I wonder what the French say? She goes and posts a statement during lunch "This is the prettiest girl Ive ever seen" and post pictures of herself. "I would do anything to have her as a girlfriend". Hoever I get the impression she thinks she is to fat cause she is always downing herself. Why do you wanna look like some stick figure. Be proud to be you. Your pretty. Not just pretty, youre fucking GORGEOUS.

I should be taking my own damn advice. Im not gorgeous though. I need to be proud to be me. If I lost weight, My life would be changed. Im not strong enough.

I wish I had self esteem.

Anyway this girl, she got green eyes, yes green eyes something about a green eyed Italian American...

Have you ever had a moment?

2007-07-11T19:25:00.000-07:00

That one little moment that makes us stop? You look out the window and see the clear blue sky as the hazy white clouds lazily blow by and you know, you know the eternal.
That inside you which reaches for beauty, love and simplicity of understanding.

That quiet place we forget to listen for.
I have felt and heard this more than once in my life. I have sat and cried as I remember those moments, of those past regrets.

I look out the window now at the city skyline with many tall buildings beautiful and majestic, seemingly reaching for the light blue sky. Such a thing of beauty yet this is not what really catches my eye today.

Today it is an uncomplicated man made street sign on this simple city road. Since I started the new job last year this sign had been laying on the ground in pieces but today it is standing with clear bright colors on it. One sign facing north and south and one facing east and west. Simple right? Nothing magical yet I felt it. This common sign made me want to cry. In the past couple of weeks my life has taken a turn for the worse, I fell back into a period a deep depression. I allowed regrets and everydays stress to overwhelm me.

The sign brought up those questions for me. Where do we go in life? North or south? The Allegheny river as it flows past my building knows where it is heading as it travels downstream flowing on into another river and then onto the homeland where it all started, the ocean. I sit here now slowly flowing in thought yet going no place physically. I long for that silly road sign suddenly. How great to be on my path and suddenly there it is the green sign pointing you in the direction you have been seeking for so long and knowing it will be glorious.

The funny thing is I feel maybe, just maybe it really is this simple yet I have made it hard for myself. I have let anger and fear into my heart and I fight them like a disease, to busy to be quiet and listen.

I have seen people fight over faith and love. There have been wars over it and so many have died for it yet what has this accomplished? Thousands of years go by and the wars still rage and this fear and anger accomplishes nothing but destruction and pain. Not just on the bodies and souls of the people but the very planet that graciously gives us life. Fear is the cause of so much suffering. The fear of taking the wrong turn or missing the sign all together. Fear of that question. “Am I believing right? and if I am why does my neighbor not believe this way?” “Why can’t they see this sign?” Or better yet why can’t I see the sign that can help guide me on my own journey? Perhaps I do see the sign but my own fears keep me from following? Questions come, about the way I am traveling and those feelings of judgment come about the road that I am taking. Suddenly listening has been silenced and the noise brings with it fear and uncertainty. This is what causes the most fear within me the fear of uncertainty can and has paralyzed me in the past.
The thoughts start out benign enough but soon they grow into worry, fear that if I don’t obey what I have been told I will go to hell or whichever venue you have been told is the worst. These are the fears that make people question their own destiny or may I say destination. I know it does for me!

I come back now to that simple road sign. This sign I am looking at may assist you, if lets say you were looking for me. For me however, I will turn left on destiny and precede straight on to get to future. Easy enough just like the river gently flowing to the sea.

The only thing is, there is another road leading someone to my door. In fact there are at least three I know of. One is an old road with many pot holes and bumps. I usually choose this road to drive home on. Not many street signs just dust and rocks, yet I feel safer here for reasons I don’t really understand but that’s, well, I guess, faith or perhaps a lack of signs to guide me and therefore less things to question?

I guess what I am getting at is it does not matter which road I may find myself on. I don’t need to find my sign. I need to take the time to listen internally and follow my own faith. Knowing my path is no better or worse than anyone else’s path. It is simply mine for better or for worse. I must remember that we are all looking for the same things, Compassion, love, reason and destination.

So now after my rambling I am still sitting in my office wondering why this sign made me want to cry. I realize there is beauty in all things. The beauty I found today was for over a year I had never seen that sign standing yet I always made it home.

Ramblings and stuff

2007-07-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my senior mannager's last day in the office, he is retiring after 38 years with the company. It was announced several weeks back and I was stressed about that for sometime because I like my current job and employer. I was stressed because the last time I saw a senior member of managment leave I went from being a Senior Customer Accounts Service Agent (I job I liked) to a Collection agent (I job I hated) and was not a good fit. Also yesterday it was announced whom will be replacing him, stress levels are reduced greatly cause his replacement is coming from within the department and she is super cool! I have a great deal more stuff in my life, stuff I want to share but stuff that at this time I chose not to not because I am fearful of what some may think but stuff that at this time I find hard to express.

My theme song

2007-07-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

The Black Sheep

2007-07-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my family always made it abundantly clear that I was the black sheep. It was always obvious to everyone, including me, that I wasn’t one of them. My brother told the lie that all big brothers tell, that I was adopted. Except my family decided to play along with it long enough for me to question whether or not I actually was.

I know we’re not supposed to compare ourselves to other people but growing up it was hard not to since my cousins was the son that every parent always dreamed of having. Even in my father called attention to that I wasn’t enough like my cousin who always did what he was told, always sat quietly and always played nice with the other kids or at least in front of my father he did. He said that I was more interested in playing with the art supplies when I was supposed to be studying or working.

In middle school and high school I was of course the troublemaker, the one with the chip on his shoulder since I was forced to attend a school that I didn’t want to go to. For college, I had always wanted to go to out of state but of course that’s another much longer story.

Even now, I still can not get out from beneath his shadow in my father’s eyes. So far, I’m happy OKAY I am happier about what I have accomplished on my own without anyone giving me money, or hot job tips. Every job I have had I got on my own without anyone’s assistance. So yes I should be proud of my accomplishments and stop looking for the approval from those external sources I have longed for. Since my Uncle’s funeral that black sheep feeling has been on my mind and will stay with me until I finally decide to end the quest for that approval. with that having been said what I’ve done with my life and who I’ve become even though I had a hell of a time getting here from where I was and still have a lot of work that needs to be done before I get to where I ultimately want to be. Everyday I pass sheep on my way to my job and every time I see them, I smile to myself and feel smart to know that being a black sheep isn’t always a bad thing.

Ever feel like you want to just quit?

2007-07-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

I'm in my thirties, and I've been fighting my weight all my life.

I really really really am not a naturally active person. I decided I was going to be an active person, and I was doing all these things every day but especially biking. I got wiped out. Then the 4th hit, and I took a couple of days off.

Then I ate--my God--the most delicious pizza I ever had, and my mouth is still watering when I think about it. Oh yesterday after I got home from work I had to walk up to Ritas for a Italian Ice, I passed on the custard but the large icee was root beer flavored.

I said I would get back to 1800 calories, and I'm doing it.

But... I'm tired. I am a size 36, that is my waist size. I'm healthy then I had been. I eat right, been eating right. I cut out fast food, no more Wendy’s. I am not as active as I should be, but I do a lot of reading, writing on the computer, paperwork (I'm a banker).

I just want to quit. I want to be ok with being fat, and I'm not, and I'm just tired of beating myself up and pushing and pushing, and I'm tired of that personal trainer inside me that's a on steroids and a fake tan and a fake smile yelling at me everytime I want something no healthy. Where did he come from, and how can I exorcise him before he exercises me to death?

Will I be saying, "Get up, Scott, get your walker, and get on your bike, and no cake!" when I'm 70? Is this the life I want?

I can feel the storm inside brewing can you?

2007-07-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

So little goes on in my life worth writing about. i work, i sleep, i shower/bathe, i eat.

Today i went to the doctor, he was an...interesting person. aren't most? i have to get like a thousand tests done. including blood work. i may not have fainted then, I do not like the needle getting anywhere beneath the belt level. i almost fell off that weird table with the crumply paper they make you sit on. ~ shudder ~
i think i want an ice cream maker for christmas. i could make sorbet, and soft cream like ice cream. ~ drools ~ haha we were in winners today and i saw tons of cook books i wanted, and somehow that reminded me of a friend whom could not bake. Well baked but always ended up burning her cookies, but I still ate my share.
i had the day off, but i really didn't do too much. we're going to another bar

Friday for a much needed happy hour, have not been to one of those in ages. Nothing like a night of srinking with bankers! Why? Cause we are all cheap drunks. Little humor there and i'm not going to get nachoes at happy hour either. haha i always get nachoes, and i really shouldn't but I love them so.

I've been very reflective lately, and i'm really happy with the way my life has turned out to date at least.

Anyway, i need to get dinner ready. You know I make a mean dish of buttered noodles with cheese!

Shhhhhhh

2007-07-03T03:39:00.001-07:00

Shhhhhhh I got something brewing and it ain't coffee! I must not speak about it or it may not come to be... So to change the subject on this post let's talk history. July 3 1863, General Robert E. Lee decided to press the attack to the Union center on Cemetery Ridge. At 1 in the afternoon, the southern artillery opened a bombardment that for a time engaged the massed guns of both sides in a thundering duel for supremacy, but did little to soften up the Union battle lines. Then came the climax of the Battle of Gettysburg...with a salute from Longstreet, General George E. Pickett, in a desperate attempt to recapture the partial success of the preceding day, spearheaded one of the most incredible efforts in military history...a massed infantry assault of 15,000 Confederate troops across the open field toward the Union center on Cemetery Ridge. One mile they marched, while being pounded by artillery and rifle fire. Through it all, Pickett's men reached but failed to break the Union line, and the magnificent effort ended in disaster. The tide of the Confederacy had "swept to its crest, paused, and receded." In 50 minutes, 10,000 in the assault had become casualties, and the attack - forever to be known as Pickett's Charge - was now history.

With the failure of Pickett's Charge, the battle was over - the Union was saved. Lee's retreat began on the afternoon of July 4. Behind him, this small town of only 2,400 was left with a total (from both sides) of over 51,000 casualties. Over 172,000 men and 634 cannon had been positioned in an area encompassing 25 square miles. Additionally, an estimated 569 tons of ammunition was expended and, when the battle had ended, 5,000 dead horses and the other wreckage of war presented a scene of terrible devastation.

The Confederate army that staggered back from the fight at Gettysburg was physically and spiritually exhausted. Lee would never again attempt an offensive operation of such proportions. Meade, though he was criticized for not immediately pursuing Lee's army, had carried the day in the battle that has become known as the High Water Mark of the Confederacy.

The war was to rage for two more terrible and tormenting years but the Confederacy never recovered from the losses of Gettysburg. And through the deepening twilight of Confederate military might, all who had been to Gettysburg would remember.

You see that is why I should be a history teacher!

Catching up

2007-06-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

Well, life has been pretty busy lately. As I stated before, I'm really liking banking. It's been awhile now and it feels like I've been there for much longer. Everyone has been commenting on how well I'm fitting in too, so that kinda makes it easier...since it is a new job and everything. Well not really, not anymore but I did transition from small business to the corporate side so I guess it is new again? Anyway, it keeps me busy and I really enjoy it. So, by the time I get home, all I wanna do is go to bed. Unfortunately my noisy new tenants like to party, I surly miss good old Kelly. She was the tenant that rented the unit above me, we sort of had a agreement, you see I worked days and she worked nights, she was a nursing student. Anyway I would not make noise to wake her up when I was leaving in the morning and she would not make noise to disturb me at night when she got home. That all change with Mr. And Ms. Party animals. I do not mind being loud on a Friday or Saturday but Sunday, Monday and Wednesday too?! Oh well them are the breaks, besides in the morning I can listen to my stero as loud as I want and sometimes I even forget to shut it off when I go to work. ~ Smile ~ anyway I have given serious consideration to moving. After this summer I will be returning to finish my masters, if I apply myself and go full time I can graduate by next fall. I can do it, and then it means finding another new job, I thought about it. Teaching jobs are hard to come by in the state of Pennsylvania. KC is right this whole region is economically depressed and dieing. Few if any good job exists for someone without experience; we are not considered the rust belt for nothing. I do have a connection that I could use to help me with a major transition in my life. I have spoken to her a few times, and I have numerous emails that she sent providing guidance to how I can earn a professional certificate to teach in another state. I can land a JOB offer before I even move and that would make moving easier. Especially since I know I will be working. The stress of working in a summer training session then afterwards of having to interview for a jobs well at the same time trying to build a new life in a strange town was one factor that kept me from taking that previous opportunity. I closed that door, but I also opened another when I met the recruiter. I have to stay focus on the goal. The goal that can give me the fresh start I have wanted all my life. I can not allow myself to fall back into that old thought pattern of self-doubt and self-pity. The goal is what I have to stay focus on. The goal!

My weekends are usually so busy/hectic with stuff that I don't get a chance to rest, I have made it a point to do something, anything even if it just biking on the trail. My roommate once said I was always around the house. At work ever since I started corporate accounts, I've been trying to make a point to not do anything on the weekends so I can rest. So far, it's working out. This weekend will be pretty low key. Tonight I'm just laying around trying to catch up on TiVo not really I do not own TiVo Anyway, tomorrow I am going to the gym – yes I found that I can still access the gym even after I successfully fought and won my dispute with that gym! Alright for me! Sunday morning, I'll probably pick a few things up around the apartment, go the grocery store, and take a nap then drive out to my Mother’s to celebrate my brother’s birthday. Monday night, I was invited to a party, yes can you believe it? A coworker is having a little get together with Beckie and RJ, but I am probably going to bail after an hour or so and go home. I have really not been in a mood to be around people in general, can not explain just want to be alone.

That's about it really. Next week things should slow down a bit at work. With the months end and also quarter end now being over and all. I am expecting a rather messy loan coming back to me from audit, oh yeah it was one of those grey issue type things.

Well, I think that's about it. I'm really surprised it's July already.